Commercials: The little things are starting to pile up

Last week, I wrote about details in writing - whether it’s for commercials or creative writing. I spotlighted a couple of commercials that I thought could have been improved and one that I felt was well-done.

And because there seems to be no end to the number of TV commercials that annoy me…I present ’Part 2.’

I hadn’t planned on doing another post on commercials today – or even on advertising in general – but soon after I had finished writing last week’s diatribe, I felt another one welling up inside me.  So please forgive me for indulging in a second little rant; heck, it’s my blog, after all!

Of course I hope, as always, that some of points I make about copy writing and production can be directly correlated to other types of writing such as poems, stories, and books.  Continuity errors, misleading untruths, and confusing messages are hardly confined to the advertising realm.

Which unravels faster: the clothes or the message?

Some things get better with time: wine, cheese, friendships. A sales message should not be one of them. In the case of the following commercial, it took repeated viewings – and an explanation from my wife – for me to understand just what’s going on. This is a perfect example of a message getting lost in creativity:

Here’s your trivia question: what’s with the yarn?? Why is this car unraveling all these clothes? If you don’t know, go ahead and watch it again and see if you can figure it out.

Now then, if you have the answer, congratulations – you did better than me.  I had seen this TV spot innumerable times and never knew what was going on.  It took my wife at least seven viewings before she suddenly announced, “I finally figured it out!”  She explained that the clothes are unraveling because winter is over and the car is bringing spring to the world. In actuality, after I paid close attention to it, the commercial is advertising a sale.

No prices, no features, no Unique Selling Proposition…just an announcement for a sale.  This commercial basically takes half a minute to say, “We’re having a sale.”  I could be way off base here, but wouldn’t it be nice to know why I should care about the sale – or why I should want an Infiniti? Is it too much to ask for a few little details? Perhaps, if one can afford to own an Infiniti, one already knows all about the features of the Infiniti and therefore one needn’t concern oneself with the price of an Infiniti.

But that negates the need for a sale now, doesn’t it?

Fun with science

Every time this commercial comes on the TV, my wife sighs. Not because of the commercial itself, but because of my reaction to a mere 1.5 seconds of it:

This isn’t a bad commercial…but it is misleading. Check out what’s happening :15 in. See those little yellowish critters, squiggling around in the sewage? Those are supposed to be enzymes, breaking down the waste.  Well, guess what?

Here’s a news flash:  enzymes are MOLECULES, folks!

They are naturally-occurring chemicals - not living creatures that scoot around inside your septic tank, chewing up your poop like Pac-Man chasing after a cherry.

This is what drives me nuts.  I know this dramatization has nothing to do with the true efficacy of Rid-X, but when I see this blatant error (or misleading animation – I’m not sure which), it makes me wonder what else I’m being misled about.  Be true to your subject! Whether you’re writing a commercial, poem, or novel…remember that suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

A good commercial, made better

This spot, by contrast, is a fine example of a clear, compelling message:

Zero Water TV spot: ‘The Waiter”

Zero Water filters are so good, they can filter out wine from tap water! I have no idea if that’s true, but it only took me one viewing of this commercial to understand that message. Like most good commercials, it’s a story: wine is poured into tap water, tap water is filtered, the Zero Water filter filters out the wine while the competition fails. And the genuinely surprised reaction by the man in the audience is a nice touch – a small detail, like we talked about last week - that makes a big impact.

But the commercial wasn’t always this good. Here’s how it first appeared:

The two biggest changes the ad agency made were the most important. First, they took the focus off the waiter; his goofy expression takes away from the straightforward, realistic style of a more-or-less-serious spot. And the reaction of the woman was, well, uhh – almost a non-reaction. She’s just sort of…there.  The gentleman in the newer spot appears to be honestly surprised and impressed, and that air of realism is important to the overall tone of the spot.

Be honest, be clear!

Don’t muddle your message with some cutesy ‘hook’ – like pulling strands of yarn off people to sell a luxury car in the spring. “Spring” is not the message, and “yarn” certainly isn’t, either.  And don’t assume your potential customers are too stupid to know what you’re telling them, such as enzymes that go chomp-chomp-chomping around your septic system.  Be honest, be clear, and make sure viewers (or listeners, if you’re in radio) know what you’re selling and why they should care.

Those two things – the product/service and the benefit of that product/service – should be first and foremost in your mind.

I’ll take “highly effective” over “highly creative” any day.

Commercials: It’s the little things that mean so much

After spending April celebrating National Poetry Month, I’m glad to get back into one of the other aspects of this blog: advertising! But as you might know, I try to offer something for all writers when I discuss voice work, commercials, or copy writing.  In past posts, I’ve touched on a variety of topics that, although they are about commercial production, the insights I try to impart can be utilized in various forms of writing.

I hope I can say the same for this post – because it’s all about details.

You see, I’m a stickler for them. Some might say I’m a perfectionist, but I don’t think so.  I am, to use an overused cliché, very detail-oriented. And although I admit some things get past me, I will usually pore over the details of the scripts and audio I’m working on to make sure everything is as it should be. Which is why I am constantly surprised that glaring inconsistencies get past entire boardrooms and committees made up of advertising execs.

Are you sure that’s the Downward Dog?

Take, for instance, this commercial that’s been going around for a few months:

On the surface, there isn’t really anything terribly wrong with this spot. It tries to connect with the viewer by offering scenarios that might be familiar with potential clients. It has some good clips of average hotel customers engaging in a variety of activities one would might expect. But what’s going on there, 10 seconds into the spot? Go ahead and watch it again, and pause at exactly :10.

Now, I’m no yoga expert, but I’m pretty sure that woman is attempting a pose that is NOWHERE CLOSE to the pose on the TV. Aside from the fact that I can’t imagine anyone eating cereal while doing yoga…what is going on there?? Who was in charge of continuity? How did this get past everyone – from producers to director to editing crew to boardroom to client – and get the green light? Perhaps they all hoped that this gaffe might give them some additional exposure by being spotlighted on Matt Forrest’s Radio, Rhythm & Rhyme blog, in which case, I suppose it paid off.

The seafood commercial that’s not:

Now let’s take a look at a great example of why it’s important that the imagery you use in your “highly creative” commercial should directly relate to your product:

OK, so what’s the one image you recall from that commercial? Most folks would probably say bears, which aren’t popularly known for eating vegetables. Or perhaps fish, since that’s what the mother bear was trying to catch for dinner. I doubt most people would say the first thing they remember is “new flavours of seasoned vegetable blends that can be microwaved.”

Did you realize those are new vegetable blends? Did you know the bags can be microwaved?  Did you realize these blends are seasoned? Do you know any of the flavours?

Now, maybe I’m way off base here, but these seem to be pretty important points, wouldn’t you say? I mean, if you’re selling bags of seasoned frozen vegetables that don’t need to be opened before cooking, and they come in all sorts of new, chef-inspired flavours, shouldn’t you be telling people this – instead of leaving them with the image in their head of bears fishing for salmon??

By the way, while preparing this blog post, I mentioned this commercial to my 18-year-old daughter, who was aware of it and told me there’s also one featuring wolves (you can view that here).  But hold on there, Jethro – even though I said she remembered the commercial, I didn’t say she remembered what it was for.  She knew it was advertising frozen vegetables, but couldn’t recall the flavours, the benefits, or the brand.

Which is good news for Green Giant, Hanover, Pictsweet, and any other frozen vegetable brand out there.

The beauty in realism

When one considers all the times that ad agencies lose sight of their message, goof up their continuity, or get bogged down with trying to be funny instead of being effective…it’s nice to see spots like this:

This commercial fulfills all its obligations.  It immediately draws the viewer into a story involving a number of different types of people - young folks, adults, men, women – all of whom are potential customers. It creates interest in the product, deftly showcasing the Galaxy’s new features by showing, not telling (something all those creative writers out there know more than just a little about). And it not only showcases the features, but more importantly, it demonstrates the benefits of those features.

Hands-free answering and viewing?  Cool.  Sharing pics simply by touching phones back-to-back, or taking multiple quick-action photos and seeing a time-lapse of all the action in one picture?  Way cool.  Remote-control of your TV?  Now we’re talkin’ ice cold.  But the best part of the spot?  Four magical words that come at the :40 mark.  Right after a young woman takes a photo and shares it with her friend by placing the backs of their phones together, the grandmother asks that same young woman if she’d mind sharing the photo on her phone, too – to which the young woman replies:

“Yours doesn’t do that.”

Ouch.  Harsh, no?  Yet we’ve all been there. We’ve either been the young woman or we’ve been the grandmother, in some circumstance or another, where we really, really, wanted to do something, but couldn’t. Being left out sucks – and this commercial reinforces that feeling gently but powerfully, with just four little words.

Creative writers, take note!

Details.  Show, don’t tell.  Relatable characters.  The same things that make commercials work (or not work) make your writing work or not work, whether it’s a picture book, poem, or novel.

If you are a creative writer, none of this is news to you – but hopefully it serves as a reminder how important these sorts of things are. If you’re a copy writer or producer, none of this should be news to you, either – but obviously a couple of these points got past at least a few people at Bird’s Eye and Homewood Suites.

Frozen veggies, hotel rooms, or smartphones…vampires, love triangles, or puppies…no matter what you’re writing about, no matter why, be good to your subject.  Draw attention, create interest, tell your story – and pay attention to the details!

After years of hard work, it’s time to cut corners

Why is it some folks feel that advertising is simple stuff?

I subscribe to a number of blogs, news feeds, and online groups, and recently came across a question an author had posted, which made me pull the last few remaining hairs on my head completely out of ther folicles. This person had a new book coming out, so had asked a college student to produce the trailer (commercial) for it – and was wondering what the going rate was.

I’m not mentioning the author’s name, because it’s irrelevant to my point; the person is actually very good and has published numerous books already. But there were so many things wrong with the question I didn’t know how or where to begin my answer.

So many questions, so little patience…

My first thought was, why even ask a college student to do something this important? Assuming we’re talking about a traditional, 19- to 22-year-old student, what skills could they possibly possess to be able to market a book effectively?  Other than knowing how to stick video images together and add audio, what do they bring to the table? Does this person understand what a USP* is? Does he/she know the five things every commercial should create – attention, interest, connection, desire, action? Has he/she even written a commercial before?

Then I started thinking about other aspects of the question. Why would you ask an amateur to produce a commercial…then ask around to find out what a rate should be? Do college students even have standardized rates?? Why not ask some professionals what their rates are?

And why not have a professional do it, anyway?

Oh, that’s right…because anyone can write and produce a commercial.

I know, I know, everyone’s on a budget

If a professionally-produced book trailer is going to cost you a thousand dollars and you’re paying for it out of your own pocket…then I completely understand why cost is so important. Believe me, I’m a voice actor/copy writer and father of four who’s been struggling for years to get a book of children’s poetry published; I’m constantly living on a tight budget. Money is always a concern of mine.

I get it.

But think about this:  if your book was written by a professional, edited by a professional, proofed by a professional, illustrated by a professional, agented by a professional, and published by professionals – why entrust the advertising and marketing of it to the lowest bidder? We’re talking about the final step in the long, arduous process of publication…and you’re going to cut corners now?

That’s like an NBA team putting their third string in during the last two minutes of a championship game because heck, they put so much time and effort into the first 46 minutes, the last two minutes really don’t matter.

The ‘Instantaneous Expert’ phenomenon

I’ve worked with numerous businesses over the years, from car dealers to restaurants to mortgage brokers to strip clubs.  Some actually trusted me to write and produce an effective spot for them. (Spots are commercials, in radio jargon) They would tell me to go ahead and do my job because I was the professional. I loved those clients.

Others, unfortunately, would suddenly and mysteriously become radio advertising gurus, even though they had never advertised on radio before. Upon signing a contract to run their very first basic 13-week schedule ever, these business owners miraculously understood all the nuances of copy writing. They would tell me how to start the commercial, they would tell me how to write the commercial, they would tell me the ten million different pieces of information that just had to be included in the commercial.

And, given enough time to write, re-write, re-write, and re-write…I would present them with a highly ineffective commercial. Because the customer is always right, even when they’re wrong.

I hate admitting that, to be honest; I’m a perfectionist with a disdain for mediocrity, let alone outright failure. But working as a production director for a large company, I was in no position to excuse myself and walk away from the deal. These days, working for myself, I have the latitude to be able to do that, if I feel it’s necessary.

“Make it wildly creative!  Then again, don’t!”

I recall one commercial in particular that was supposed to be fresh and unique, a bold departure from what the client had been running for years. They wanted something that would immediately stand out from the pack. Something funny, ear-catching, different. A campaign of two or three different spots that all worked together, that they could create some buzz with.

It took awhile, but I came up with three different scripts. Because they utilized multiple voices and sound effects, I went ahead and produced all three so the client would be able to hear – and hopefully better understand – the commercials instead of just reading the scripts. I was quite proud of them.

The client, however, thought they were too creative; could I edit them down and include this, that, and this other thing in the script?

Uhh…ok.

So I rewrote the scripts. They were still too ‘confusing,’ according to the client. Oh, and could I add this and this to the script, as well?

After four rewrites, we were left with a bland, over-stuffed, one-voice commercial – very similar to many of the forgettable spots you hear on the radio and nothing at all like what had been initially requested. And it was approved.  Ironically, the client kept the catch phrase I had created for their original commercial.  This, of course, was pointless, because the catch phrase had everything to do with the original commercial’s concept and nothing to do with the one we were left with.

Advertising. Anyone can do it.

If anyone can do it, let me do your job

If you’re a car dealer, I doubt you’ll let me try to sell your vehicles without training. If you own a restaurant, you’re not going to ask a copy writer to cook your food (although you could ask me, since I’ve done that before). If you value your skills as a plumber, lawyer, book author, or widget salesman, why devalue the skills of others? If your rationale is, ‘anyone can write a commercial’ or ‘how hard can it be?’ then you are seriously underestimating the value of advertising.

Now, don’t start thinking that I’m trying to push my own particular service here. Yes, I write copy. I’ve written hundreds of commercials over 25+ years. And I have voiced and produced probably thousands of radio commercials during that time, as well…so I do know a little something about this.  But I don’t produce videos. I know how to write for video, I have voiced videos…but I don’t produce ‘em. So I’m not trying to get anyone to hire me to produce their TV commercial or book or movie trailer.

As a matter of fact, I’m going to need to find someone to produce a video demo for me this year – basically, a series of clips of commercials and videos that showcase my voice to prospective clients – and a college student is the LAST person I’ll ask to do it for me.

This is my life’s work we’re talking about, and it’s worth more than what a college student can offer…no matter what their rate.

.

* USP = Unique Selling Proposition! Learn more in THIS POST.

Of one-armed strollers and turkey dinners

How often do you do things without thinking about why you do them?

Recently, I took my 3-year-old son out for a walk. He doesn’t usually need the stroller for these little jaunts, but today he felt like riding.  After awhile of relaxing and enjoying the scenery, he asked to get out and push. I obliged. He got behind the stroller and started pushing as best he could. The stroller veered to the right and careened to the left and got stuck in the ruts of the road. It was tough going.

I kept telling him it would be easier if he’d use both hands.

But, no – he insisted on using his right hand, and his right hand only.

Why? I wondered.

Then it occurred to me:  he was doing it the way I had taught him.

Immitation ≠ Flattery

You see, I’m a fairly tall fellow, and pushing the stroller with both arms is uncomfortable because I have to hunch my back slightly to reach the handlebar. But I found that by standing upright and just using my right hand – positioned near the left side of the handlebar – I could control the stroller fairly easily and still walk normally.

He had seen me do this, and figured that was the way it was done…and no amount of exhortation to the contrary was going to change his little steel bear trap of a mind.

This was the way dad does it, he probably reasoned, so this is the proper way to do it.

This rationale, however, is not only the bailiwick a 3-year-old.

Doing something just because someone else did it?  You’d never fall for that…

I was reminded of a (supposedly true) story I heard several years ago about a young wife who was preparing Thanksgiving dinner for the first time. When the turkey was about to be carved, several guests were surprised to see the bag of gizzards (liver, kidneys, etc.) inside the bird.  Rather than take the bag out and cook them separately, she had roasted the bag right there where it was when she bought it.

When asked why she did that, she said it was the way her mom had always cooked it. But since her guests seemed taken aback at the concept, she decided to ask her mom a few days later.

Her mom’s answer? Because that was the way her mom had always done it.

So the young wife went to her grandmother and asked again: why cook the bag of gizzards inside the turkey, instead of taking it out of the bird and cooking them separately? Her grandmother laughed and explained that it had only happened once, when the young woman’s mother was just a child – the grandmother had accidentally forgotten to take the bag out. The experience, however, had stuck with the child, and that was how she subsequently prepared every Thanksgiving turkey.  Consequently, that was how her daughter, this young wife, had learned to do it. Like mother, like daughter.

Two generations of families,preparing their Thanksgiving meals based on a mistake.

Don’t accept the premise

Don’t always accept things at face value. Some things are exactly as they seem – speeding on a highway and spitting into the wind rarely yield positive results – but there are many circumstances we come across every day that could use a closer look:

Do we speak a certain way because that’s the way we were told to? Are there processes or systems where we work that seem cumbersome? Are there family issues that might be resolved by trying something different?

If you’re a voice actor, do you always position your mic the same way? Is it hanging down or standing up? Do you speak to the top, to the front, to the side, which side? Do you get so close you’re eating it, or do you back off 10 inches or more?

If you don’t like poetry, is it because you can’t understand it? Is the poet writing above his/her audience? Does the poetry use antiquated language? Or do you feel like you could write the same kind of thing? Then find poetry you can understand, find poetry that’s more contemporary, or write your own!

When confronted with an issue, ask yourself why…consider an alternative…and then ask, why not?

If I’m told a client always runs a particular type of commercial, I question why I can’t completely change it around the next time.  If I’m told that something has to be done a certain way, I ask why. If I’m told, ‘that’s just the way it’s done,’ I look for answers.

Sometimes they’re good answers. Sometimes I need to come up with new ones.

Don’t settle for the answers you’re given. Don’t assume there’s only one way to do something.

And don’t roast your turkey with the giblet bag.

Little books = Big impact

When was the last time you thought about the books you read as a child?

Were the kids tiny or were the animals huge? It didn’t matter. To me, the pictures were cool – and that’s all that mattered!

It occurred to me the other day just how big a role picture books and other books for children play in developing not just reading ability and comprehension, but developing personality.  Of course, it’s not breaking news that children who read develop language and communication skills, bigger vocabularies, and better attention spans and memory retention. But I’m talking about how those books shape who we are today.

I’ve previously talked a little bit about the impact our experiences as children have on our adult lives.  In one of my very first posts, I wrote about how my love of old-time radio drama lead me into the world of radio and voiceovers, and asked readers to think about that one ‘defining moment’ they may have had as a child that is probably responsible for where they are today.

This time around, I’d like to ask you to think about your most memorable children’s books. Not necessarily your favourite books – although you certainly can – but those books you remember reading as a child that, for some reason, you still remember today. And I’ll bet that if you look at them as a collective, you’ll see yourself in a new light.

(Imagination + compassion + attention to detail) ÷ sense of humour = Matt

Looking back at the books I remember most fondly, I can definitely see why I am the person I am.  One of my favourites when I was very young was Mr. Snitzel’s Cookies, by the wonderful Jane Flory. The story is simple, but teaches a classic message of giving:

Mr. Snitzel, a baker, has only a handful of flour and a couple of raisins left in his otherwise bare cupboard – so he closes his shop for the night, wondering what he’ll do. That evening, a poor beggar comes along and asks if Mr. Snitzel could spare any food. Mr. Snitzel kindly explains the situation and says if he had anything, he’d be more than happy to help. The beggar suggests that Mr. Snitzel look in the cupboard again. To his amazement, there is, indeed, enough food to make something, which he does.

When the beggar asks if he can sleep there, Mr. Snitzel obliges, although he doesn’t have much room. (My memory is foggy, but Mr. Snitzal may actually give up his bed for the beggar) When morning comes, the beggar is gone. Mr. Snitzel goes to his shop and opens his cupboards, expecting barely nothing – and what do you know, they’re full of flour and raisins and candy and all the things that a good baker needs to make wonderful treats and be happy!

A familiar tale, told in a different way, with a golden message.

As for the bizarre iamgination…

Look no further than this absolutely mind-blowing book written by Johnny Gruelle, the creator of Raggedy Ann & Andy. The Magical Land of Noom is part Wizard of Oz, part Alice in Wonderland, part magic mushroom ride. A large hardcover, this was a hefty book, filled with beautiful yet eerie illustrations of horses dressed like grandmothers, odd toadstool-like trees, and Mad Hatter-ish characters.

It was both intensely intriguing yet also freakishly unsettling – almost scary – in a way. Not scary as in Please-stop-the-nightmares scary, but scary in an Aliens-just-landed-and-although-I-should-run-I-just-have-to-see-what they’re-going-to-do-next! sort of way.

As for the story, I don’t recall. But I’ll never be able to get the picture of that grandma horse out of my head.

Speaking of imagination…

What better way to spark a young child’s imagination than with fantastic, strange, and ominous creatures that actually EXISTED here on earth, millions of years ago? Dinosaurs: A Little Golden Book by Jane Watson was another one of my favourite books.

I would stare at the pages over and over again, paying close attention to the colourful scales of brachiosaur, the armor of ankylosaurus, and long, sharp teeth and claws of Tyrannosaurus Rex. I probably learned how to pronounce – and spell - words like archaeopteryx and pteradactyl long before I learned the names of other animals that are actually still in existence.

I’ll tell you something else: I can’t guarantee that all these dinosaur names are correctly spelled because I didn’t bother looking them up – but I’ll bet you good money I got ‘em all right.  Tell me picture books don’t help develop attention to detail.

Who doesn’t love Snoopy?

My folks, who gave me all of the books I’ve spotlighted here, knew I liked Peanuts. I still have the Snoopy coffee mug they gave me nearly 40 years ago, and both of my daughters (nearly 18 and 21) AND my 3-year-old son have all used my original red-and-white Charlie Brown knitted winter hat. Yes, it’s at least 40 years old. No, it doesn’t look like it. They made things to last, back in the good ol’ days.

Whoops, sorry.  Started to sound like a grumpy old man there. I guess it’s my genes.

Anyway…this was a collection of comic strips put together in picture-book format, so it didn’t look or feel like a collection of strips. I just loved reading about Snoopy pretending to battle the Red Baron, crash landing across enemy lines and making his way back through barbed wire, stopping at a little French cottage for some vichyssoise (potato soup) with a pretty maiden, then becoming emotionally torn when he has to say goodbye…

It’s classic Snoopy. Fun stuff, and something I can definitely point to as helping to shape my appreciation for humour.

That, and the fact that my dad and I would watch Monty Python, The Goodies, and Fawlty Towers for hours on end. I’m thinking that had something to do with it, as well…but that’s another post.

What about you?

Can you think of those childhood books you loved so much? Or even the ones that might not have been favourites…but which for some reason stick in your memory? Make a list of four or five books, and spend some time looking them over and thinking about what impact they may have had on you. These books I’ve mentioned were not the only ones I loved or remember – I enjoyed Dr. Seuss and Maurice Sendak and others – but these are the ones that immediately come to mind as having shaped who I am today.

These are the books that spurred me to start reading the Hardy Boys mysteries, Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series, and all the other books I fell in love with through high school and college. I see now that I am a product of not just my genetics and my environment, but of my experiences reading.

How about you? Want to learn more about your literary geneology? All it takes is a little trip down memory lane to that library in your head!

**********************

QUESTION: My first book of children’s poems contained this poem: “Little green inchworm, inchworm, inch./ You don’t bite and you don’t pinch./ Never did anybody any harm./ So take your little green walk up my arm.” Does anyone have ANY idea what this book was, who wrote it, or who published it? I used to love it – and it obviously set me on my current poetry path – but I can’t find it anywhere!  >sigh<

The Importance of Doing

While sitting in church this past Sunday, something occurred to me:  “how” we do something is not nearly as important as actually doing it.

Let me explain…

No matter where you go in the world, one of the most – if not the most – important parts of a Christian mass is what is termed the ‘Celebration of the Eucharist,” or, as most people refer to it, receiving Communion. As part of this ceremony, each member of the congregation takes a piece of bread (or, as Catholics call it, a ‘host’) as a symbol of the bread that Jesus Christ shared with his Apostles on the night before he was arrested, and eats it in remembrance of that Last Supper.

But it’s not so simple, you see.

Breaking bread can get complicated

Some Christian religions, like the Catholic faith, perform this ritual during every mass – whether it’s a regular Sunday morning, a wedding, a funeral, a Holy Day of Obligation…you name it. While some Protestant faiths do the same, many only do it on Sunday, or even just one Sunday each month.

Jehovah’s Witnesses, in fact, only do it once a year, during what they call The Memorial, which is their version of an Easter mass.  Yet, although all congregation members are offered the ceremonial bread, only a very select few actually partake of it.

There are other differences, too. Some churchs serve traditional unleavened bread; others prefer leavened.  Some churches only allow the priest to serve it; others allow ordinary folks designated as ‘lay ministers’ to serve it. While one church may require you to stand, another may have you kneel, while another has you sit.

Some churches are quiet during the ceremony; some play music.

No matter how Christians do it, though, the important thing is…they do it.

What’s keeping you from doing?

So as I sat there in the pew, I began thinking about all the variables we encounter
in our lives, and all the roadblocks we put in front of ourselves. When we fall in love, we wonder if we should tell the other person our feelings. After a date, we wonder whether we should call or text the other person back too soon, or not soon enough. We see a job position available that we’d really like to apply for…but we doubt we’re qualified.

Parents worry they don’t spend enough time with their kids. Actors and voice artists question whether we should audition for a gig. Poets agonize over which adjective is best to describe a mountain.

It feels like we all spend so much time debating with ourselves over whether we should do something, or how we should do something…that we end up never doing.

In fact, as I write this post, it’s 10:16pm EST on Monday night, and the reason it’s so late is because I spent the last two days wondering if I should use this idea as a blog post!

“Worry is a misuse of the imagination.” – author Dan Zadra

I’m not sure why so many of us, myself included, come up with so many reasons to not do something we want to do. Perhaps it’s because of fear of failure. Perhaps it’s the fear of the unknown.

Perhaps it’s because maintaining the status quo is also the path of least resistance.

Whatever the reason, it seems to me that there’s a lot more worrying in this world than there is doing. Granted, if you want to skydive, you can’t just go jump out of a plane. If you want to quit your job to spend more time with family, you need to assess your finances. If you want to be an author, you need to learn how to write.  (Although these days, it seems that requirement is sadly becoming less and less necessary)

But if you’re not doing anything to achieve these goals – why worry or complain about your lack of ever reaching them?

“If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?”  -Śāntideva, Buddhist monk

Bottom line: worrying, debating, and stressing are not doing. The Christian churches don’t worry about whether they should sit during Communion or stand, whether they use unleavened bread like Jesus did or a loaf of regular whole wheat, or whether they should do it daily, weekly, or monthly.

They just do it.

Why don’t you? If you want to have a particular career, don’t just talk about it – do something to get yourself there. Parents, leave the dirty bathroom for another day and go outside and play with your kid. Poets, write the damn line about the stupid mountain and then go back and revise.

If you love someone, tell them! It’s time for all of us to get things done!

I, for one, am going to stop worrying, debating, and analyzing every decision I make. And that’s something I know I can do.

Who Do You Think You’re Talking To?

Or, who are you writing to?

Whether you write advertising copy or novels, video scripts or poetry…I’m talking to you.

Forgive me for indulging in a little cathartic rant in today’s post, but I felt compelled to write a few words about a scourge upon our advertising landscape. It’s something that is not only one of my personal pet peeves when it comes to copy writing, but it’s a sure-fire way to get potential customers and clients to immediately tune out your message. It’s an evil villain, but one that is easily thwarted if writers just take a little extra time.

It’s…industry-speak.

But hold on, poets, fiction writers, and voice artists - I’m not just talking about writing and advertising here. Industry-speak is more than just words; it’s also tone.

Are those pavers or pavestones?

Know your audience

I read scripts and marketing materials all the time. I know when someone is speaking to me about my concerns, and when someone is speaking at me about their product. I’ve written before about the importance of connecting with readers/listeners/viewers, and let me say right here that using terms and phrases that only others within your industry use – or worse, using terms and phrases that no one ever uses in real life - are copy-killers.

I hear colleges using the word “dynamic” to describe their courses. I’ve heard businesses offering “robust solutions.”  Just recently, I came across a script for a landscape company selling paving stones, brick pavers, and stepstones (I honestly don’t know if there’s a difference).

When you use words that normal, everyday folks don’t, you’re saying, “Let me speak to you in a language you don’t understand about things you don’t comprehend, so I can then wonder why you don’t care.”

What are pavers, and why should I care about them? Do I need them? Why should I get them from you? As a consumer, I have a flurry of questions when I hear something like that…and more often than not, I don’t want to be bothered with questions. I have enough questions in my life I’m trying to answer already without you throwing more at me.

On the other hand, if you ask, “Wouldn’t it be great if you could have an outdoor patio area that’s easy to clean, never needs staining, and can allow you to grill outdoors all year-round?” Well, now you have my interest. And you didn’t even use the word “paver.”

Don’t get me wrong, if pavers are what you’re selling, you obviously need to use the word “pavers” at some point.  What I’m saying is, don’t act like I already know what you’re talking about!  Also notice I said “easy to clean” instead of “virtually maintenance-free.” You know you’ve heard “virtually maintenance-free” in plenty of commercials before – but who actually talks like that?

Step into the Delorean

Before you write the copy, take a trip back in time and think about what life was like before you knew all this stuff.

Think back to when you couldn’t tell a flagstone from a fieldstone. When you didn’t care about the difference between clay and concrete.  Back when you didn’t even know college courses could be ’dynamic’ (personally, I think colleges just make up that phrase to sound flashy).

Get rid of the industry-speak. Get rid of the advertising-industry-speak, as well:  crutch-phrases like ‘knowledgeable staff,’ ‘no-pressure sales,’ and – oh yeah, ‘virtually maintenance-free.’

Think about your listener or reader. Use the language that is used by the people to whom you’re talking.

The same goes for you, too, storytellers

OK, well, technically, radio and TV commercial copy writers are supposed to be storytellers…and if they’re not, they should be. But if you write fiction or poetry, ask yourself the same questions. To whom are you writing? For whom are you writing? Whether it’s a 4-line poem or a 1000-page novel, you need to know who your audience is, and use the language that best suits that audience. I’ve read drafts of picture books that use slang terms that went out with 8-track tapes. and drafts of YA novels about subjects that would only interest an 8-year-old.

Again, use the language of the reader.

Ask yourself who the consumer is; that is, the person who will be doing the reading. Some children’s authors say they write to their young self. Other authors write to an imaginary person they’ve created. Many poets write to their (former or current) spouse or significant other…their muse, as it were. Some folks simply write to themselves, too, which is fine if you don’t plan on distributing your material to a wider audience; I will never understate the importance of writing for oneself.

Conversing with your audience

It pays to read and re-read. If you’re a voice artist or speaker, look over the script and try to understand a) who you are representing while speaking, and b) who is receiving the information. Understanding who you are, who your audience is, and why any of you should care about the message is of utmost importance. There are plenty of tips out there about voice acting, but to me, they all come down to one truism: everything you speak is a conversation.

Writers, look over your copy, poem, or manuscript and see if that person to whom you’re writing will ‘get’ everything. Have someone else read it and ask them if they know what you’re talking about. If you’re an advertiser, it also pays to have a person who is not in your industry – but could be a potential customer – read the copy. If something doesn’t make sense to them, change the copy.

Again, it all boils down to knowing to whom, or for whom, you’re writing or speaking, and targeting your language to reflect that.

As they say in the advertising biz:  know your demographic!

(Wait, sorry….was that industry-speak?)

In Commercials or Poems, Be Specific!

I have mentioned before on this blog that different types of writing often need to follow the same rules, and can often benefit from the same methods. Thanks to a  7th- and 8th-grade English teacher in Haiti, I’m sharing another example today.

When I speak to clients about how to write radio commercials, one of the many things I tell them is to read the finished script and do a ‘generic check.’  I ask them to read the script, but wherever the name of their business is given, replace it with the name of their competitor.  If the commercial still makes sense…it’s not a good commercial.

Edit it – or throw it away and start over.

A commercial needs to specify a business’ Unique Selling Point (also known as the Unique Selling Proposition).  The “USP” is an industry term referring to the one thing that sets that business apart from all the others.  Ultimately, it’s the answer to the question, “Why should I give you my money, instead of the guy next door?” If your Italian restaurant commercial sounds fine using the names of other Italian restaurants, someone did something wrong.

If you don’t know what makes you different, how will anyone??

I’ll spend more time talking about USPs in a future post, but for now I want to concentrate on specificity.

SPECIFICITY [spes-ih-FISS-ih-tee]: noun. The state of referring to an explicit or definite thing.

Whether it’s a radio commercial, a poem, or even an on-air radio bit…don’t assume that by trying to be generic you’re going to attract more people.  If you’re not trying to be generic, but still come up with a script that can be easily appropriated by another business, your script is missing a key component.

I was reminded of this by a teacher in Haiti named Ruth, who operates her own blog, There Is No Such Thing As A God-Forsaken Town.  Last Friday, she posted a love poem by Craig Arnold titled “Bird-Understander,” in which the speaker addresses his partner about a particular facet of her personality that is particularly endearing to him. You can read the entire post here.  The poem is a terrific example of specificity because as one reads this poem, one realizes this person is a unique individual unlike anyone else – at least in the speaker’s mind.

In her blog post, Ruth points out:

“A love poem should be specific, not a generic verse suitable for a  greeting card.  The beloved is not interchangeable with others, and  poetry about the beloved shouldn’t be, either.  By that standard, this love poem succeeds brilliantly.  When we read it, as people who don’t  know the woman being addressed, we see a beautiful quality in her, and  we see why he loves her.  We know what makes her special.”

If you’re an advertiser, do we know what makes your business special?

Not all mortgage companies are created equal

Several years ago, while working as the production director for a five-station radio group, I was asked to record a new client who was going to come to the radio station to voice his spot.  I was handed a copy of the script just a few minutes before he arrived, so I had no time to edit the script or even speak to the account rep who wrote it.

But I knew we weren’t going to be able to record it the way it was written.

It was basically sixty seconds of bullet points:  “if you need a mortgage, call us”….”offering a variety of options”…”residential or commercial”…blah, blah, blah. And then it concluded with multiple calls-to-action, including the location, phone number, and website. (Multiple calls-to-action are another of my pet peeves, but that’s another blog post)

Any – and I mean ANY – other mortgage company in ANY part of this great country could easily plug their name into this commercial, and by changing the contact info, they’d have a  script.  Again I say, if your commercial script can be used by anybody else in the same industry…that’s a major problem.

So when the client came in, we chatted about the script and he expressed his displeasure with it before I even had a chance to express mine.  He felt it was too generic (!!!), he didn’t think it was written the way he would naturally speak…he didn’t even want a physical address or a phone number in the script, because the only call to action he wanted was to direct listeners to his website!

I breathed a sigh of relief, and did a little Happy Dance on the inside. The client and I were both on the same page.

The spot needed to change, drastically.

I had an idea.

Letting the client speak for himself

He was a very friendly, animated fellow who knew his business, knew why he was unique, and knew what he wanted his commercial to accomplish.  While he was talking to me about it, I suggested he let me turn on his microphone, and I would record him speaking extemporaneously.  I figured I could edit the best parts into a :60 commercial and let his unique message and unique delivery – at least for a mortgage broker – be front-and-center.

This is what we came up with:

StarOneFunding_Image-#1 9-2006

Have you ever heard a mortgage company commercial like that? This was just one of 3 or 4 spots we ended up creating, and he loved them. They were unlike any others on the air at the time, and because of the unique features of his website (along with his style of delivery), they stood out from the pack. Try plugging another mortgage company’s name into that spot; I’d say it definitely passes the ’generic check.’

Making a habit of ‘generic-checking’

Next time you need to write a commercial, plug in another business’ name and contact info and see what you get. Can any business use this script? Next time you write a poem about someone or something special, try plugging in someone else’s name.  Could this poem be about anyone?

If the answer to either of these questions is “yes”…start over.

After all, if the business you’re promoting isn’t unique, why should anyone be expected to patronize them? If the person you’re writing about is as ordinary as everyone else, why waste the ink?

If someone was going to write about you…wouldn’t you want to pass the ‘generic check?’

Super Bowl 2013 Commercials: Touchdowns, Fumbles, and Questionable Calls

This past Sunday night, millions tuned in to CBS for the 47th Super Bowl. And if you managed to make it all the way through  Alicia Keye’s “stirring” rendition of our national anthem, you eventually got to see a football game.

Of course, the competition is not the only draw; a number of folks who watch the game tune in to see the commercials, the production of which has become an annual game of advertising one-upsmanship unto itself. If you have not seen them, there are plenty of ways to find them on the internet. I’m not going to post every single one. Some were funny, some were touching, some were downright bizarre (what was Taco Bell thinking??)…but most were forgettable. The few I’m going to talk about today are the ones that – for better or worse – left the biggest impression on me.

Touchdowns

These are the only three commercials I felt really nailed their objective – that is, to attract the viewers attention, to create interest and a desire to act, and give a clear, compelling message. First on my list (and on a lot of people’s lists) is the return of the Budweiser Clydesdales in “Brotherhood”:

It’s nostalgic, it’s charming, it’s warm, it’s fuzzy…but doesn’t feel pandering. It not only draws the viewer in by telling a compelling story, it reinforces the brand as part of the fabric of American family life. And really, what more could a brand want?

(Side note: the foal they used was born on Jan. 16, and was just seven days old at the time of the commercial’s filming. The fact that people are just learning about this now is helping to continue the momentum of the spot…and drive viewership)

The second commercial I felt was also successful – if not underrated – was the Sketchers ad, “Man vs. Cheetah:”

This spot isn’t showing up on many ‘lists’ of this year’s top Super Bowl commercials, probably because it’s not laugh-out-loud hilarious, rip-your-heart-out poignant, or scratch-your-head-wondering-what-the-hell-just happened bizarre. (Most car manufacturers, especially Hyundai, seemed to have a near-monopoly on that last category) But this spot does what every effective spot should do: it directly ties together the premise with the benefits of the product. Too many commercials try to connect the product to a contrived premise, which leads to a confusing, ineffective message – if there’s a message at all.

The third commercial that stood out for me was Tide’s “Miracle Stain:”

Here again, it’s a compelling story told with humour that immediately gets your attention, creates interest, and concludes with a perfect ending. It doesn’t get into the details of why Tide is so great, it doesn’t compare itself to other detergents…it just puts the brand front and center as the payoff.  Ironically, the brand becomes the downfall of the main character – an unusual twist – and that reinforces the notion that Tide’s power is somehow ‘non-discriminatory.’  For top-of-mind awareness, this was a winner.

Fumbles

I could give you a long list of all the spots I thought were failures. Actually, I can’t. Many of the spots were so forgettable…I forgot them. And personally, I don’t feel like sifting through all the Super bowl 2013 commercials just to find the worst ones. So here are a couple that really annoyed me.

First up, Volkswagen’s “Get In, Get Happy:”

OK, OK, it was amusing. Even I chuckled when the guy says to turn the frown “dee udder way ah-roond!”  But let’s be serious: did it compell you to consider buying a Volkswagen? d|Did it spotlight any benefits to driving Volkswagens, other than they’ll make you happy? Without rewatching it, was the car they were driving a Beetle or a Jetta? This is an example of trying to get a premise to fit the brand. Sure, you might be happy driving a VW – but the image the viewer is ultimately left with is a white guy speaking like a Jamaican, not a red 2013 Beetle.

The second spot (actually a series of spots) that I felt missed the mark were Coca-Cola’s “Chase ads.” Here’s one of them:

Apparently, the idea was that viewers were supposed to log onto Coke’s website and vote how the story ended. A good idea to create a story that continues through the game. Unfortunately, Coke forgot two important things: 1) you need to compell viewers to take action, and 2) you need to compell viewers to take action.

I don’t know how many people bothered to log on and choose the ending – because, frankly, I didn’t care. Why should I? A bunch of strange characters are racing somewhere…I don’t know who they are, why I should care about them, or why I should be bothered to log onto Coke’s website. Hey, here’s some free advice for Coke’s ad agency: compell me to BUY A COKE. You’re welcome.

Questionable Calls

These are spots that were memorable and did a pretty good job of getting people to take notice of the product or brand, but fell a few yards short  (to carry the metaphor).

First up, the one everyone’s been talking about…GoDaddy.com’s “Perfect Match:”

Yes, my skin’s still crawling, too. A lot of folks have slammed this commercial for being tacky, crude, and totally un-funny. It is, indeed, all of those things…but we’re still talking about it, and that was the plan.  Come to think of it, it may also be the first time I’ve turned away from looking at Bar Rafaeli. Those Go Daddy people are just evil.

Another commercial that swung hard and missed was Ram Trucks’ “Farmer:”

I realize I’m going against a lot of my fellow ad geeks and agencies – but I was really disappointed in this. The production values are terrific. The intonations of the late, great Paul Harvey are sincere and stirring. The images are powerful. And the fact that it never felt like a two-minute commercial reinforces my belief that a compelling story will maintain the interest and attention of the viewer or listener, no matter how long it is. If a story starts to feel long – whether it’s a commercial, movie, or book – it’s not as compelling as it should have been.

My problem with this spot is the payoff. After watching this heartfelt tribute to the American farmer…we discover it’s a pitch for Ram Trucks. Really? You’re going to play with my emotions for a play at my wallet? I just felt let down. Now, I’ve thought about this quite a bit – about how they could have done this without it coming off as being tacky or cheesy – and I think if it they had used a different line other than, “to the farmer in all of us.” That line feels like they’re pushing their trucks on me. Perhaps a subtler, “thank you, farmers” or something that at least felt less pitchy, less…sales-y. I don’t know.  I’m still torn on this one, but it’s still not sitting well with me.

Runner-Up

The last commercial I want to spotlight was Oreo’s “Whisper Fight,” which gets a nod not for its uniqueness, but for what Oreo’s executives managed to do in the middle of the game. First, the spot:

It was funny, yes – I was laughing along with everyone else – but it felt like a retread of the old, classic Miller Light commercials: “Tastes great! Less filling!” Not a great commercial, but I think it definitely will have life after the Super Bowl – and it was certainly one of the funnier spots, which helps with top-of-mind awareness. I’m not sure how many viewers were compelled (there’s that word again!) to take the call to action and send an Instagram to @Oreo on Twitter, but Twitter is where the real action ended up taking place…

Only a few minutes into the 3rd quarter, half the stadium’s power went out – leaving literally half of the stadium in darkness for 34 minutes. During that time, Oreo’s ad agency, 360i, received approval from the company execs to send out a graphic on Twitter showing part of an Oreo cookie and the phrase, “You can still dunk in the dark.” According to Buzzfeed, the image has been retweeted more than 14,000 times and the Facebook graphic has amassed 20,000+ “likes.” As Buzzfeed points out, the brand that got the biggest impact on the most expensive advertising day of the year…may have done it for nothing! Gotta love social media.

So what commercials did you feel had the biggest impact? Any I missed? Am I totally off the mark on any of these? LEt me know – I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section, below. And if you liked this post, feel free share it and subscribe to the blog! Thanks…and keep in touch!

Voicing a character, or giving a character a voice?

Sometimes, the characters you voice – or, for you authors, the ones you write about – aren’t who they seem at first.

Several years ago, I was watching a behind-the-scenes TV program about an animated kids’ show.  One of the lead characters, a young African-American boy, was voiced by a white woman, and the show’s creators were explaining why.  It had nothing to do with race, accent, or any other sterotypical ‘traits’ one might expect.

Quite the opposite.

When auditioning for the role, the voice actor simply read the lines as a young child; no ethnic accents, no unnatural changes in tone, just a normal child’s voice. And the casting director loved it. (It’s days like this that I wish I could remember the show, so I could give the voice actor credit!)  The producers agreed that having a neutral child’s voice was the best thing for the show, and it worked well – the show was very popular and ran for several seasons.

(Still can’t remember the show.  Stupid old age…)

The reason I bring this up is because I also recently voiced a character who wasn’t supposed to be quite the way the producers had intended…and it got me thinking about the trap of stereotyping.

“When did y’all develop that accent, anyway?”

Without divulging too much info about this project, here’s what happened:  I received an audition to voice an American soldier from the early 1700′s.  He was from the South Carolina area, and had three or four sentences to speak.  Because of the region of the U.S. in which the action was taking place, the audition stated he should have a slight Southern accent.

Problem was, in the early 1700′s, there was no such thing as a Southern accent!  We had barely settled this land, we were all still British citizens, and we were all still speaking the Queen’s English.

So what’s an obedient voice actor to do?

I dutifully recorded a take with the Southern accent, as requested. Then I recorded two additional takes with a British accent, explaining in my email to the producer why.

The producer ended up agreeing with me.  She asked me to record a couple more takes with the British accent, and we were done! She thanked me for bringing that to her attention, and I thanked her for being so open-minded.

Don’t try to find the character – let the character find you

Whether you are a voice actor or an author, once you know what the character is…you need to find out who he or she is.  Voicing characters is not always about funny voices. It’s about giving life to an entity, a creation.  Maybe it’s a funny character, maybe it’s not.  Maybe it’s a young, inner-city child, perhaps it’s a pre-Revolutionary War soldier from the Carolinas.

But just like a comedian rarely goes with his first thought when coming up with a joke, take some time to consider whether or not the voice you’re about to give your character really is his or her voice.  Granted, you have to work within the parameters of the description given by the producer or casting director.  But just because he’s a tough cop, doesn’t mean his voice has to be gravelly.   Just because she’s a lonely housewife, doesn’t mean she has to sound milquetoast.*

Click here for a sample of characters I have voiced. (The soldier is featured on the Voice Acting demo)

Voice actors, think about the character and who they are, their circumstances, their history/backstory.  Ask yourself if the voice you’re going to use is honest, or clichéd?

Writers…do the same thing! Often, the best characters are not the ones upon which you foist specific traits and quirks, but the ones you allow to grow and develop.

Just remember, when auditioning, follow the casting director’s rules - but know that sometimes it’s ok to step a little outside those bounds now and then.  There is a big difference between providing an original voice and completely disregarding your instructions. Know that difference, and the line will be easier to walk.

And even if the casting instructions do indicate a style or tone that may seem stereotypical, many times you can get away with voicing a ‘wild’ take, as many of us call them, after your first take.  That is, give the producer or director something they may not have been expecting, and explain why.  If it’s a good enough reason, you may have just set yourself apart from all the other gravelly-throated voice actors out there.

* (Is that not a great American word, or what? Don’t know what it means? Look it up!)