Poetry Friday: “Monster Supper”

Yes, I realize Halloween is both months away and months behind…but I had to post this now.

You see, back in early January, the creative yet enigmatic M.M. Socks posted a poem titled, “Eyeball Dinner” on his blog.  It got me thinking about what else might be served at a dinner that included eyeballs on the menu. But then, of course, I had to carry the concept further in my mind…and wondered what the whole dinner experience might be like.

Hence, the inspiration for “Monster Supper.” Hope you like it!  Or are at least able to get all the way through it. Today Sheri Doyle is hosting Poetry Friday, so be sure to visit her blog for links to all of the day’s offerings!

“Monster Supper”

Come, little monsters,
Sit down, take a seat!
Are your hands filthy?
Good!
We can finally eat!
Your mummy has made you
A terrible feast –
So you can grow up
As a strong, healthy beast.

Remember your manners
And don’t sit up straight;
Burp when you want to
But don’t clean your plate.
Put down those forks!
Play with your food!
Talk while you’re chewing
And always be rude.

Have some weed salad
With fried crispy lips!
I cooked up a rump roast
And saved you the hips.
You’ll love these fresh toenails –
The crunch is superb!
Or try some steamed muscles
With butter and Herb.

The sweet pickled pelvis
Is slimy and cold,
The grilled duodenum
Is starting to mold;
There’s liver lasagna,
Hot skeleton stew,
Gall bladder casserole,
Finger rolls, too!

So eat up, my darlings,
And make sure you drool –
But always remember
My dinnertime rule:
If you don’t eat your eyeballs
And finish your dirt,
You can’t have warm chocolate
Spleens for dessert.

- © 2013, Matt Forrest Esenwine

Poetry Friday: “Mud Pies for Sale!”

Perhaps I’ve been too serious lately.

I was just looking back over some of my recent Poetry Friday posts and noticed a plethora of deep, sensual, or poignant poems. (Well, except for last week’s homage to the next Super Bowl champions, the Baltimore Ravens)

I’ve offered a tanka dedicated to my wife, a tribute to her grandfather, and even poems about poetry itself.  I’ve probed life, death, consciousness, and inspiration.

Time for some silly.

We had insanely strong winds here yesterday – over 50 mph gusts – and even now, they’ve only died down to about 30 mph.  These were accompanied by heavy rainfall in the early morning hours and far-above-seasonal temperatures resulting in a giant, mushy mishmash of messy mud.

But I do have to admit, the dirt-speckled, half-molten snow definitely set off the more earthy, monochromatic tones of the rest of the scenery.

You’ll understand, then, why I thought this would be an appropriate poem to share.  It’s something I wrote two years ago, but for which I have yet to find a home.  I’m thinking of including it in my ‘food’ poetry collection (oh, yes , there’s a manuscript for that, already), just to be cheeky.  Hope you like it!  And for all of today’s Poetry Friday shenanigans, visit the Gang o’ Six at Teaching Authors!

Facial, anyone?

“Mud Pies for Sale!”

Mud pies for sale, mud pies for sale!
All made from scratch, fresh from the pail!
We use the finest mud and weeds
To satisfy your mud pie needs.
The dirt is dug right from the ground;
It’s mixed with water, stirred around,
Then baked beneath the sun above
And set before you here, with love.
You’ll find no other pies in town
This muddy or this shade of brown;
Disgusting?  Gritty?  Do not frown –
Here, have a drink to wash it down!

Although…

If you don’t want what we’ve displayed,
You may not like the lemonade.

- © 2012 Matt Forrest Esenwine

Poetry Friday: “The Ravens”

Here it is, Robbie Burns Day – the birthday of The Bard, Scottish poet Robert Burns – and what do I have? A parody of an Edgar Allan Poe classic.

I’m not being a very good Scot.

However, in keeping with tradition, I do offer a link to an appropriate Burns piece, “Address to a Haggis.”  If you’re holding a Burns Supper today, in addition to the pipes, toasts, and requisite singing of Burns’ “Auld Lang Syne,” you’d better plan on having a dramatic reading of the culinary classic that is “Address to a Haggis.”

And of course, the haggis, neeps, and tatties.

Photo courtesy Ian Britton

And if you don’t know what haggis is, well – let me say, it’s not for everyone.  Neeps are turnips and tatties are potatoes; simple enough. Haggis, though, is a type of forcemeat consisting of most of the parts of a sheep non-Scots wouldn’t consider eating – along with oatmeal, onions, pepper, and other spices – stuffed inside the sheep’s stomach. And just because haggis is synonymous with Scotland, don’t assume everyone there loves it. There are a handful of Americans who don’t appreciate hot dogs, and there are plenty more Scots who won’t go near haggis with a 19-foot caber.

It should be noted that the flavour of haggis improves with time; specifically, time spent drinking Scotch.

Which explains a lot, actually.

But I digress…

I don’t know if it’s because I grew up listening to Stan Freberg and watching Carol Burnett on TV, if it’s due to my overdosing on Monty Python and The Goodies episodes as a kid, or because my family was just plain happy while I was growing up…but I am grateful to whoever or whatever gave me my sense of humour.

I’m not saying I’m the world’s quickest wit or funniest fellow, but I do tend to see the humour in many situations.   Just as I find poetry in everyday life, I also see the funny.

Case in point: this past Sunday night, when my poor New England Patriots fell in defeat to the powerful Baltimore Ravens in the AFC Championship game. (For the uninitiated, the Ravens will now meet the San Francisco 49′ers in the Super Bowl. It’s kind of a big deal here.) If you saw the game, you saw the Patriots do pretty much nothing except all the things a team should not do, if it wants to advance to the Super Bowl. Interception, fumble, offsides, you name it…they did it.

But, having been born in the city of Poe, I was not entirely disappointed. I was glad to see the Ravens move on - which is probably why I was able to see humour in the Patriots’ defeat. While most Pats fans went straight to bed after screaming at their TVs for at least 20 minutes - only to continue grousing about it at work the following day - I, on the other hand, took to my computer to re-write Poe’s classic, “The Raven.”

No, not the entire poem – I’m not that ambitious, even when it’s not 11pm on a Sunday night. I wrote one stanza, incorporating the rhyme scheme and meter of the original, as a reflection of my experience of the game as a Pats fan.

(Also, again for the uninitiated:  Flacco is Joe Flacco, Baltimore’s quarterback, and Beantown is a nickname for Boston…)

The Ravens

Once upon a Sunday dreary, as the Pats played, weak and weary,
Watching all of Flacco’s passes they seemed eager to ignore –
Wide receivers, nearly napping, with their flailing arms a-flapping,
They’re the ones I felt like slapping as they worn down time and score –
“Will victory be Beantown’s??”  I asked, closely watching time and score –
Quoth the Ravens, “Nevermore!”

- 2013, Matt Forrest Esenwine

For all of today’s Poetry Friday offerings, be sure to visit Tabatha Yeatts at The Opposite of Indifference!

Poetry Friday: First of the year!

Welcome to Poetry Friday!

I’m very excited to be hosting the festivities today.  Not only is this the first Poetry Friday roundup of 2013, but it’s also the first time I’ve ever hosted Poetry Friday.

(I only started this blog 5 months ago – so I hope I don’t screw things up!)

If you have something you’d like to share, just leave your link(s) in the Comments section below, and I’ll update the blog throughout the day.

For my part, I’m sharing my newest poem, which I wrote four nights ago.  As I mentioned in Tuesday’s post, I’m currently working on a follow-up to my winter-themed children’s poetry collection – an autumn-themed poetry collection – and this, I think, will most likely be the first poem of that book.  Seems to make sense, considering the subject!  Hope you like it…and be sure to check out all the other fantastic poetry at the links below…

First Day in the Cafeteria

They could have served us burgers.
They could have served us fries.
They could have served us mac ‘n cheese
or deep-fried chicken thighs.

They could have served cold pizza
or greasy beef pot pies,
so why oh why – our first day back -
do we get “Chef’s Surprise??”

- © 2013 Matt Forrest Esenwine

For more poetic ways to kick off your New Year, please visit these fine folks:

• If you’d like like to get the year kicked off in good shape, David L. Harrison suggests you read Jane Heitman’s poem, “Counting Down the Hours.”
• Catherine Johnson shares two original Month of Poetry poems.
• For the new year, Steve Patterson offers a poem about a little turtle, huge determination, and a new life.
• I’d like to welcome Lesley Fletcher to Poetry Friday!  Lesley is sharing a poem written at a car dealership, titled “The Flame.”
• Another new visitor to Poetry Friday is San Lin Tun, who wishes everyone a “Happy New Year.”
• Charles Ghigna shares his “New Year’s Resolutions” at The FATHER GOOSE Blog.
• Laura Purdie Salas has a roundup of the CYBILS Finalists in the Poetry Category.
• Gabrielle Pendergast also spotlights the CYBILS Poetry Finalists, and provides info on VerseDay, a year long blog fest celebrating all things verse! All the info is at her blog, Angelhorn.
• Speaking of the CYBILS, Irene Latham is giving away some CYBILS poetry book packs!
• Violet Nesdoly’s poem for this week is a tongue-in-cheek look at her own “Fiscal Crisis.”
• At A Teaching Life, Tara has a very fitting poem about “Burning the Old Year” by Naomi Shihab Nye.
• Jeff Barger has written a haiku titled “Killing Me With Kindness” at his blog, NC Teacher Stuff.
• At Gathering Books, Myra shares a favourite poem of hers…Derek Walcott’s, “Love after Love.”
• Laura Shovan is posting poem #4 in her poetry postcard/birthday project at Author Amok. This is one for American history buffs. Both the new poem, “Thick Skinned,” and the postcard refer to the Civil War battle between two ironclad ships, the Merrimack and the Monitor.
• Tamera Will Wissinger is also joining us for the first time today!  She just recently began a new online journal called The Writer’s Whimsy, and her contribution is called “Put On Your (Fishing) Poetry Hat.
• At Random Noodling, Diane has a poem by Edward Hirsch, which celebrates Georgia O’Keeffe, “Evening Star.”
• Kurious Kitty finds connections in a poem by David Ferry.
• KK’s Kwotes continues New Year’s celebrations with a song written by Peggy Seeger.
• Margaret continues to work on writing poems to her father’s artwork at Reflections on the Teche.
• They’re at the midpoint in THE POETRY FRIDAY ANTHOLOGY with a “toothless” poem by Amy Ludwig VanDerwater.
• At Growing Wild, Liz Steinglass shares an original poem about a cat named Houdini who likes to escape from Grandma’s visitors.
• They’re celebrating their 7th year of blogging at A Year of Reading with seven days of giveback-giveaway. The book they’re giving away today, to one lucky commenter, is FORGIVE ME, I MEANT TO DO IT.
• Karen Edmiston is in this week with T.S. Eliot’s “Journey of the Magi.”
• At Teacher Dance, Linda has a poem tribute for the Cybil’s finalists announced this week.
• Carlie is sharing an original poem on her blog, Twinkling Along, all about adopting an orphaned flower in her hour of catastrophe.
• Tabatha Yeats’ post today is about the Library of Congress’s Lyric Poetry Corridor, plus she shares a poem by Tennyson. (She also posted international HP book covers yesterday!)
• At Read, Write, Howl, Robyn Hood Black has been busy this week:  shes in with a Joyce Sidman poem and a link to her interview with her for Poetry at Play, as well as a link to a post on verse novels, featuring some of our shining PF poets.
• Susan Thomsen is featuring a photographed excerpt of a poem by Gwendolyn Brooks, from New York’s Library Way, at her blog, Chicken Spaghetti.
• At Poetry for Kids Joy, Joy Acey has poem about nonverbal communication this week with “Pinkie Promise.”
• Be sure to visit The Write Sisters for a short poem titled, “Dark Birds.”
• Joyce Ray is sharing a winter haiku at Musings.
• At Supratentorial, Alice is sharing the book poem, “If I Never Forever Endeavor” by Holly Meade.
• Matt Goodfellow shares an original poem, “New Yah Prayer.”
• At Wild Rose Reader, Elaine has a “forgotten” poem that she wrote years ago.  It’s a mask poem titled “Dinosaur Egg.”
• Mother Reader offers another in her series of songs as poetry, “Little Talks.”
• Ralph Fletcher has started blogging, and he joins us this week with a poem from one of his books, “Relatively Speaking: Poems About Family.”
• At On Point, Lorie Ann Grover has an original haiku for the new year, “Celebrate.”
• Carol Wilcox shares a dog poem by Mary Oliver at Carol’s Corner and also provides a link to the Warrior Canine Connection, an organization that raises service dogs for veterans and has a brand new litter of yellow lab puppies.
• At Booktalking, Anastasia is sharing a CYBILS Poetry nominee: “The Year Comes Round: Haiku through the Seasons” by Sid Farrar (Author) and Ilse Plume (Illustrator).
• Amy has a villanelle titled “I Understand” today at The Poem Farm.
• Haiti Ruth is in with “The End and the Beginning,” by Wisława Szymborska.
• At Writing and Ruminating, Kelly Ramsdell Fineman shares an original sonnet, “Lessons I Wish I Could Share With My Teenage Daughter.”
• And Perogyo brings us a review of the book, “Noisy Poems for a Busy Day” at her blog Perogies and Gyoza!

Poetry Friday: “Vampire’s Kitchen”

Click image for Jennifer’s website!

It’s a few days past Halloween, and here I am, finally getting around to posting this!  Things have been crazy lately…but better late then never!

And so I present this treat, something I was inspired to write after seeing this blog post from illustrator Jennifer L. Meyer earlier this year.  I got to thinking about what, precisely, one would find in a vampire’s kitchen – and this was the answer that presented itself.  The poem doesn’t really ‘connect’ to the illustration – but it did provide my starting point, so I hope you like it!  And be sure to check out all the Poetry Friday treats at Mainely Write!

Vampire’s Kitchen

You won’t find any crackers,
You won’t find any cheese,
You won’t find canned asparagus
Or bags of frozen peas.
You won’t see any burgers
Or slices of baloney,
There isn’t any cereal
Or elbow macaroni.
You won’t find any butter
Or sugar cookie batter,
You’ll find no loaves of raisin bread
(Nor raisins, for that matter).
There are no cakes or cookies,
No kale or collard greens,
No ham or Spam or leg of lamb
Or cans of pork and beans.
There isn’t any jelly,
There are no fancy jams,
No ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise,
Or scallops, shrimp, or clams.
There isn’t any meatloaf
Or liverwurst pate,
No homemade tuna casserole
Or spicy beef satay.
Go search throughout the pantry,
The fridge, and every shelf –
You’ll find no food or beverages
You’d want to serve yourself.
A vampire’s tastes are simple
And really not complex:
The only thing you’ll find is blood,
And lots and lots of necks.

- ©2012, Matt Forrest Esenwine

Poetry Friday: Fall Treats at YARN!

Click to go to the Young Adult Review Network and my poem!

Last week, the folks at the online literary journal, Young Adult Review Network (YARN), published three poems to promote their “Fall Treats Poem Drive and Contest.”  All three poems had been submitted by individuals from different parts of the country who did not know each other, did not know what the others were writing about, nor even when the poems might be published, if at all.

Coincidental, then, that they all had apples as their subjects!

YARN, apparently, knows a good idea when it hits them on the head (Get it?  Like Sir Isaac Newton?  The apple fell, and hit them on the - ok, you get it), so they decided to use apples as their October theme.  I’m pleased that they were inspired by one of my poems not only for publication, but for helping them formulate their contest, which just began this past Monday.  You can view all three poems here…then write one of your own and send it in!

And be sure to see what else is happening today for Poetry Friday with Irene at Live Your Poem!

Poetry Friday: “…Although, maybe I should go back for some pizza”

Yes, that’s the title of the poem.  I know, it’s a bit odd, but so is the person who wrote it.  Actually, there’s a reason why I titled it this way…you’ll

This was written last summer, as I was preparing for my duties as the official live announcer for the annual Hopkinton State Fair here in New Hampshire.  It’s one of the largest fairs in the state and takes place during Labor Day Weekend.

I was the announcer for this year’s fair as well, and I’m still recuperating.  It’s not the nearly 65-hours-on-my-feet-for-5-days schedule that gets me; it’s the food!  Between deep-fried pickles, Pop-Tarts and Oreos, barbecued bison burgers, and roast turkey legs that would give Fred Flintstone a hernia, it’s a fair-foodie’s dream-come-true.  My annual favourite?  A loaded baked potato with chili, bacon, cheese, broccoli, sour cream, chives, salsa, and jalapenos.

I tell them to hold the butter because I really don’t need the fat.

…Although, maybe I should go back for some pizza

I love the fair, but most of all, the food is hard to beat –
It’s barely 2pm, and yet I’ve had so much to eat!
I started with a burger, had a corn dog and some fries,
And then hot buttered popcorn in a box of massive size.

I feasted on the fried dough, ate a funnel cake or three,
And downed as many deep-fried foods as there could ever be.
Of course I needed ice cream, so I stopped to have a scoop;
I even scarfed a giant, cheesy bread bowl full of soup!

Had cotton candy, caramel apples, schnitzel on a stick,
And polished off a pulled pork sub entirely too quick.
I’ve eaten all the sausage my poor stomach will allow;
So really…all I want…
is just a garden salad now.

- Matt Forrest Esenwine

If you’d like to see what others are contributing to Poetry Friday, click here: http://www.katyaczaja.com.