Radio, Rhythm & Rhyme

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Archive for the tag “voiceover”

What I learned at the fair, III

As I’ve mentioned on Facebook and Twitter, I’m the live announcer for the Hopkinton (New Hampshire) State Fair. For the past four days, I have wandered from end to end and corner to corner, chatting with folks about everything from giant pumpkins and cattle pulls to fried dough and magic shows.

Over our public address system, I let the attendees know where the bathrooms are, when the next goat show is going to be, and how to get their tickets to the demolition derbies.

And I learn a lot!

That said, I’ve developed a tradition of sharing some of the wisdom I’ve gleaned from the fair here in my blog. Last year I wrote of giant robot dinosaurs and the most despised candies in the universe. The year before that, I mourned the loss of patriotism.

This year, I’ve learned all sorts of new things…

  1. The best time to smell the fair is the first few hours of the very first day. Having been the announcer for about 5 or 6 years now, I’m not sure why I hadn’t noticed this before. During those first hours of the fair, each aroma is its own: the donuts, with their yeasty, sugary delicateness; the charbroil grills firing up; the fresh hay and manure. (Yes, fresh manure counts as a ‘good’ smell for me. For those of us who grew up in the country, it’s a very earthy, honest smell). Once the fair gets going all those aromas blend into one – and although you might be able to pick out individual smells, they are much more delightful and independent when you first arrive.
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  2. If your job can be done by someone else, make sure it can’t. Friday morning we had our stock farm tractor pull, where big, powerful machines attempt to pull heavy weights along a dirt path. The one that eventually goes the farthest, wins. Well, our usual announcer was unable to do it this year, so we had someone else fill in (you can see her hard at work in the photo).
    Fair - truck pullShe did a surprisingly good job; however, I’m pretty sure we’ll see Andy Mack, the regular announcer, back next year.
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    Consider this, though…if you’re doing a task that someone else can do, too, you’d better provide some added value to that task and show why you are capable of doing it better. Do you go above and beyond? Are you friendlier, smarter, more positive? Whatever the superlative, make it your own! Once they discover you’re not special, you’re toast.
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  3. There’s a new maple syrup grading system being put into place. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but it’s a huge deal for maple syrup-producing states like New Hampshire and Vermont. For years, customers have been confused by the names of the types of maple syrup, which have varied state to state. What might be called “Grade A Fancy” in one state (such as Vermont), is referred to as “Grade A Light Amber” in another – and what Vermont calls “Light Amber” is different somewhere else. (And don’t even get me started on “Grade B” syrup, which is darker and more robust in flavor, but is just as high a quality as “Grade A”)
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    It’s taken about 10 years of wrangling, but it appears that a new grading system has been agreed upon between the states, and we’ll start seeing the new names in the upcoming spring 2015 sugaring season.
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  4. The less clothing you wear, the more trouble it is. This is one of those issues women seem to have to deal with more so than men. As I spent my four fair days walking from dairy barn to music tent, from horse show ring to funnel cake booth, I noticed something. Those who wore t-shirts, button-down shirts, or dresses appeared completely unconcerned with their wardrobe. On the other hand, those who wore tight-fitting, spaghetti-strapped, midriff-baring, cleavage-inducing tank tops were constantly pulling at themselves, pinching, pulling, adjusting.
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    I just don’t get it. If being sexy is that uncomfortable, suggest to your boyfriend that he try wearing that sort of thing sometime and see how he likes it.
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  5. Loaded baked stuffed potatoes are still the best thing about the fair. I wrote about this last year and it remains the truth. Pure heaven.Fair - potato
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  6. Patriotism still isn’t what it used to be. I’ve also written about this before. When the national anthem plays each day at noon, many folks stop and face the flag(s) on the fairgrounds; others will stand around, wondering what’s going on while others simply pay no heed and continue about their day. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but things like this really annoy me.
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  7. Souped-up pickup trucks with tractor tires are deafeningly loud. OK, so I already knew that. This was just a reason to post a picture of the mud race:

Fair - mud race

Do any of these things come as a surprise to you? Am I alone in my enlightenment here? Anything you’ve ever learned while enjoying the local fair that you’d  care to share?  I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

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Did you like this post? Find something interesting elsewhere in this blog? I really won’t mind at all if you feel compelled to share it with your friends and followers!

PoetsGarage-badgeTo keep abreast of all my posts, please consider subscribing via the links up there on the right!  (I usually only post twice a week – on Tues. and Fri. – so you won’t be inundated with emails every day)  Also feel free to visit my voiceover website HERE, and you can also follow me via Twitter FacebookPinterest, and SoundCloud!

Matt Forrest, Dream-Killer

Sweet, loveable me…destroying dreams?

Alas, it appears so.

I am often asked how one starts a career doing voiceovers or writing children’s books. As someone who has been doing voice work and audio editing for 25+ years, I’m happy to share advice, tips, and some guidance.

As someone who has yet to accomplish the feat of getting a children’s book published, I can only offer a few suggestions – like practice, networking, and critiquing. I have had numerous adult poems published in collections over the years and will soon have about 6 or 7 children’s poems published in various anthologies within the next year or two…but that’s a far cry from getting a book deal.

Be that as it may, much of the advice I give can be applied to either industry – and many more.  The reaction I get after giving the advice is often the same, as well.

Notice I called it an industry

Voiceover work and writing children’s books and poetry are similar in that they are both creative pursuits; however, it’s important to not lose sight of the fact that they are, in fact, industries. Businesses. Professional careers that require all the time, effort, and skill that most other professional careers require.

ID-100232154 (water pipe)

Other than turning off the water, I wouldn’t have a clue as to what to do next.

You wouldn’t decide to become an astronaut on a whim. You wouldn’t think that by buying a socket wrench you can pass yourself off as a car mechanic.

You wouldn’t decide to open a plumbing business simply because you once unclogged a drain in the upstairs bathroom and it seemed like easy money.

Unfortunately, there is something about creative media that makes people think anyone can do it. And to be honest, many people can do it – but don’t really want to.

Or rather, they don’t want to hear about the reality of it.

This is where the dream-killing begins…

The first thing I tell folks who ask me how to get into voiceovers or break into children’s publishing is this: learn about the industry. Read blog posts, seek out professional web pages, and get a feel for what is truly involved. There is more to voiceovers than speaking into a microphone, and there’s more to writing children’s stories than “See Spot Run.”

When I tell these well-meaning people that the industry (either one!) is difficult to break into, they first look at me as if I’m trying to keep them out of a secret club or something. Then when I tell them a few of the things they are actually going to need to do, I get the feeling they think I’m trying to scare them away.

I have to implore them not to misunderstand me – that I’m just trying to be honest and blunt with them.

Blunt honesty, it appears, is not popular.

The frightening facts

Some of the nuggets of advice I offer – while not particularly unique or even insightful – are certainly solid for either industry:

- It may be fun, but it’s work, and you need to treat it as such.
– It’s also enormously competitive. The good news is that most of the other folks in the industry are surprisingly supportive!

- If you want to be a professional, understand what that means and what is expected of you.
- It doesn’t matter if you have a “great voice”; what matters is if you can read well and bring a script to life.
- It doesn’t matter if you love kids; what matters is your ability to write and your willingness to revise, over and over.
- Understand that not everyone can do what you are attempting to do. If it was so easy anyone could do it, everyone would.
- Understand that this is a skill requiring training, perseverance, and talent (not necessarily in that order).
- Understand that rejection is a way of life. There is a very, very high likelihood that you will fail multiple times before you even begin to succeed. You might get passed over dozens of auditions before getting that first gig, and you might send out a hundred manuscripts before an agent or editor thinks you’ve got what it takes.
- Tenacity, perseverance, skill, communication abilities, a thick skin, and a sense of humor are your best friends.
- Egos will get you nowhere.

There are plenty of other industry-specific things I might share when chatting with folks about voiceovers or children’s publishing, but I usually lose them at “enormously competitive.”

I’m really not trying to kill dreams…it just sort of happens

Honestly, I’m not sure how many dreams I’ve killed. I know that many of the folks who have emailed me or spoken to me in person over the last few years are not currently pursuing the vocation they had asked me about in the first place.

SCBWII can only make some broad assumptions.

Either they a) got scared and decided to stick with what they were doing; b) thought I was trying to scare them and decided to do it their own way and failed; or c) are still trying to find the time to be able to engage in an industry as competitive as voiceovers (or children’s writing).

These days, I refer voiceover questions to fellow voice artists like Paul Strikwerda, whose book, Making Money in Your PJs, provides as much insight, advice, and blunt honesty as one can handle, or Dave Courvoisier, author of More Than Just a Voice, a book that details the nuts-and-bolts of the industry like marketing, coaching, and equipment. The professional organization World Voices is good place to learn what being a professional voice talent is all about.

For questions about children’s book publishing, writers like Katie Davis, Julie Hedlund, Tara Lazar, Dr. Patricia Stohr-Hunt, and many, many more are all willing to help teach, guide, and inspire. And of course, there’s always the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators (SCBWI), which is a great resource.

So if you happen to be wondering what it takes to get into these industries – or any of the creative arts – don’t let hard work and the fear of rejection stop you from realizing your dreams. Just do the work necessary and plan to stick with it for the long haul.

I’m not really a “Dream-Killer,” after all…just more of a reality-checker.

But hey, if Abe Lincoln can be a Vampire Hunter, why can’t I have an ominous-sounding moniker, as well?

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Did you like this post? Find something interesting elsewhere in this blog? I really won’t mind at all if you feel compelled to share it with your friends and followers!

PoetsGarage-badgeTo keep abreast of all my posts, please consider subscribing via the links up there on the right!  (I usually only post twice a week – on Tues. and Fri. – so you won’t be inundated with emails every day)  Also feel free to visit my voiceover website HERE, and you can also follow me via Twitter FacebookPinterest, and SoundCloud!

“I can see clearly now, membrane is gone…”

By the time you’re probably reading this, I’ll be able to read it, too.

Since sometime in early spring, I’ve noticed my ability to focus my left eye has been increasingly difficult. It got to the point while we were on our vacation trip to Maine that I couldn’t even focus on road signs, sailboats, or women in bikinis.

It was very confusing to me why this would be happening, because I had undergone cataract surgery about 4 years ago and had a brand-new lens stuck inside my eyeball. This had given me perfect distance-vision (I still needed reading glasses, though). Because I was still near-sighted (naturally) in my right eye, I lived with monovision: I’d use m y left eye for distance, right eye for reading. For some people, this drives them nuts; for me, I was already nuts, so it worked out fine.

Fast forward to this  past June, after we got back from vacation…

As you can imagine, I couldn’t stand not being able to see properly. Which made it doubly worse is that I have now developed a cataract in my right eye, too – which limits my ability to see anything in focus farther than 4 inches away. I kid you not.

So I made an emergency appointment with the eye doctor, who told me I had a cloudy membrane. It seems there’s this thin, clear little sheet that separates the front and back of your eyeball. Surgeons leave it there to help hold the new lens in place during cataract surgery, and 50% of all patients never have any problems. for the other 50% – of which I’m part – our membranes start to become cloudy, much like our lenses did when we developed the cataracts.

In the words of the doctor, “This membrane should look like Saran Wrap; yours is more like wax paper.”

Great.

Fortunately, I’m told it’s a simple procedure to fix it. They’re going to give me a couple of eye drops, hold my eyelids open, focus a laser beam at that pesky sheet of wax paper, and blast it to smithereens.

And thanks to modern medicine, it’s a 30-second procedure.  Seriously. 30 seconds to blow the membrane apart – after which I’ll probably see some ‘floaters,’ as they call them, which the body will simply absorb over the following week. There’s no recuperation period, I’m told; no restrictions, no side effects, other than a possibility that my eye pressure might increase, although the doctor says that has never happened.

Of course, now that he made that bold claim, I’ll probably be the shlub who breaks the record.

“But wait!” you ask. “If you can’t see out of either eye, how have you been writing and doing voiceover work?”

The simple answer is: I haven’t. Or, if I have, it’s been taking me forever.  I can’t read or write unless I’m 4 inches away from the computer screen – which, I don’t have to tell you, is as challenging as it is unhealthy. Reading glasses and magnifying lenses are useless because they help a person’s eyes to focus – yet in my case, there is no way for me to focus.

So unless I blow up the font size of a script to 24-point, recording audio has been a real trick. And writing just gives me headaches after awhile…which is why I’ll wrap this up now. My appointment for membrane-destruction is Tuesday morning, which is why I hope that by the time you read this, I’ll be reading it, as well.

I’m looking forward to seeing what I wrote.

I’m also eager to go back to the beach.

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Did you like this post? Find something interesting elsewhere in this blog? I really won’t mind at all if you feel compelled to share it with your friends and followers!

PoetsGarage-badgeTo keep abreast of all my posts, please consider subscribing via the links up there on the right!  (I usually only post twice a week – on Tues. and Fri. – so you won’t be inundated with emails every day)  Also feel free to visit my voiceover website HERE, and you can also follow me via Twitter FacebookPinterest, and SoundCloud!

 

FaffCamp is back!

If you are a voice talent, voice actor, voice artist, voiceover professional – heck, whatever you call yourself – you should know about FaffCamp! It’s a professional development conference organized by the same folks who orchestrate the hugely popular “un-conference,” FaffCon – and it’s a tremendous opportunity to network, learn, and be inspired in a fun, relaxed setting.

There are two ‘tracks,’ so to speak – one for seasoned pros and one for those who are just starting to get into the voiceover industry – so there really is something for everyone. Even if you work with, hire, or produce voiceover pros, you’ll probably find something of interest at this conference: ad agencies, eLearning providers, and even copywriters are encouraged to come check it out!

faffcamp-patch-logo-faffcon_225x200

 March 19-22, 2015 – San Antonio, TX

If you’re interested, don’t delay! Registration closes July 11 – and since it’s being done Kickstarter-style, if they don’t get enough registrants to break even by that date, they’ll have to cancel the event. So click the image above for all the details, and don’t miss Faff Camp II!

- Matt

Someone spent a lot of money promoting their competition

I think I’m a fairly low-key, easy-going guy. I tend to take things in stride, but every now and then something will get me all worked up to the point where I’m jumping around, hollering like an idiot.

It’s usually due to moron drivers and bad commercials.

In this case, I felt compelled to share my discontent because we’re dealing with a bad commercial featuring people driving! And really, it’s not that bad a commercial…it’s just advertising the wrong business. (Which I guess makes it a pretty bad commercial, after all.)

Check out this commercial for Fiat:
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Oh, wait – that wasn’t a commercial for Fiat. That was for Lexus! Oh, stupid me…my bad. You see, I just spent 60 seconds looking at fine sports cars and seeing the sleek “F” logo popping up in my face. Can you blame for mistaking this for a Fiat commercial?

Seriously, Lexus: the viewer only gets a few quick glances at the Lexus “L” logo on the cars…and unless the viewer’s attention is completely focused on the commercial, he/she will never realize those are all Lexuses (Lexi? What, exactly, is the plural?).

Here’s how I presume it all went down:

- Someone at the Lexus corporation said, “Let’s call our new model the same letter that our competition’s name starts with.”
– Someone at the ad agency said, “Let’s flash the first letter of the competition’s name throughout the entire commercial – and be sure not to show anyone the Lexus name or logo until after they have determined it’s an ad for the competition.”
– A whole bunch of executives said, “We agree! That’s a great idea!”

I’ve written before about what happens when a good story goes bad, and this is one of those times. And as always, I critique these spots not out of displeasure with or dislike of ad agencies – heck, I’m a voiceover guy, I LOVE ad agencies! – but out of love. Tough love,

So now that I’ve had my rant, I’m going to go take a rest. But be forewarned – if Ford Trucks comes out with a TV commercial featuring a male sheep, I might need to write another blog post.

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Did you like this post? Find something interesting elsewhere in this blog? I really won’t mind at all if you feel compelled to share it with your friends and followers!

PoetsGarage-badgeTo keep abreast of all my posts, please consider subscribing via the links up there on the right!  (I usually only post twice a week – on Tues. and Fri. – so you won’t be inundated with emails every day)  Also feel free to visit my voiceover website HERE, and you can also follow me via Twitter FacebookPinterest, and SoundCloud!

My Life as a Lazy Bum (or, How I Went a Week Without Working and Still Survived)

Tork beach 1

York Beach, Maine…our cottage was a 30-second walk from here.

As you may know, I went on vacation with my wife and two youngest kids last week. I was looking forward to it, as I’d never gone anywhere for an entire week of vacation before, and I knew I’d be leaving work behind. I knew I would not even LOOK at a computer, much less perform work-related duties o one. I brought my cellphone, but with limited internet access, that was only good for keeping in touch with family if necessary.

We weren’t going to be online, I wouldn’t be submitting any auditions for voiceover gigs, I wouldn’t be keeping up with my Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn accounts…everything was on auto-pilot.

Surprisingly, I didn’t even get around to doing the kind of “work” I thought I would be doing…writing!

York

Low tide at Longsands…so called because all the sand is wet and hard-packed – and easy to walk on!

Everything took a back seat to FAMILY

We drove about an hour and a half over to York, Maine to stay in a cute little summer cottage owned by some friends of ours. With a 30-second walk to the beach, you can imagine where we spent much of our time.

I love the ocean, so the fact that we were on the shore and in the water each day was a joy unto itself. That my 4-year-old son was thrilled to be there made it that much more enjoyable. Whether he was digging in the sand, splashing in the water, searching the shoreline for seashells after high tide, or simply running around like a lunatic, he was having the time of his life.

His 10-month-old sister, meanwhile, was content eating the sand, which we were constantly having to shovel out of her mouth. It may have been disgusting, but she seemed to enjoy it.

Then there were the walks downtown. It only took about 20 minutes to get to the center of town, so we walked there nearly every day, as well. One day we stopped by the playground area then had some ice cream. Another day we walked over to York’s Wild Animal Kingdom. Next day we went shopping and I tried a dark-chocolate-covered frozen key lime pie slice on a stick (That was almost the highlight of the week).

York - house 1

Our little home-away-from-home.

We ate breakfast on the deck each morning and I cooked dinner on the grill almost every night.

And between the walking and the swimming and the playing and the grilling and the eating…I never had time to write.

But I didn’t mind. I was too happy!

Plenty of inspiration

I had brought my moleskin notebook – the one my wife gave me several years ago – to jot down notes and lines and other ideas…but it didn’t even make it into my hand.

We were having so much fun, I realized that any effort to break away from what the family was doing was a detriment. Now, some writer friends may say that spending a week along the ocean without putting pen to paper just once is a sacrilege…but I think differently.

Although I had planned on writing, had wanted to write, and even could have found the time if I really tried…the experience allowed me to soak up more than enough inspiration – possibly inspiration I might have missed if I had been writing.

Ideas, ideas, ideas

York - Nubble lighthouse 1

The Nubble Lighthouse (aka, the Cape Neddick Lightstation)

At some point, I’ll get writing about the trip. Perhaps I’ll craft a poem about my little dude’s kite that he loved watching soar high, high in the air. I might also write about his experience watching a butterfly hatch from a cocoon at York’s Wild Kingdom.

Maybe I’ll write about seashells we found, or the dogs we saw running along the shoreline early in the morning and late in the evening.

I already have some ideas I’ve been fleshing out in my head about lighthouses, crashing waves, and s’mores.

So just because I didn’t submit any auditions doesn’t mean I’ll never get another voiceover gig again. And just because I didn’t do any writing doesn’t mean I don’t have plenty to write about. I’m looking forward to seeing what I come up with in the weeks ahead!

I just might even write a poem about the seagull that pooped on my wife’s head while we were walking downtown. Memories like that can last a lifetime.

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Did you like this post? Find something interesting elsewhere in this blog? I really won’t mind at all if you feel compelled to share it with your friends and followers!

PoetsGarage-badgeTo keep abreast of all my posts, please consider subscribing via the links up there on the right!  (I usually only post twice a week – on Tues. and Fri. – so you won’t be inundated with emails every day)  Also feel free to visit my voiceover website HERE, and you can also follow me via Twitter FacebookPinterest, and SoundCloud!

 

 

 

 

I’ve never really done this sort of thing before…

Lots of people I know have done it. Many do it all the time…while others only do it now and then.

Some have never done it at all.

I am one of the latter.

My admission:

Oh sure, I’ve taken days off from work. I’ve had a week or more vacation time and usually spent it hanging around the house, going on day trips,. and generally doing everything I can to not work. (And really, it’s not that hard.)

But the one thing I’ve never done is plan out my vacation time – schedule my days so I know what I’ll be doing and when. And although to some folks that may seem a bit too…oh, I don’t know – “Type-A”…it’s not really going to be that hard or cumbersome.

Because my daily plans are all part of one giant, week-long plan:

The beach!

Now, the family and I  live just a little over an hour from the coast, so I usually try to spend several days – scattered throughout the summer – at the beach. But this year, I’ll be ocean side every day of the week!  One day we’ll spend with the kids along the shore…one day we plan on taking the kids to see some of the local sights near the ocean…the next day we’ll be back in the water and then get dinner out.

It’ll be just like a trip to the Bahamas but without the airsickness.

My premonition:

Sea Glass coverI have a sneaking suspicion that just because I’m on vacation doesn’t mean my blog will be on hiatus. I have too much planned!

In keeping with the ocean theme of next week, I’m looking forward to sharing a review of Richard Michelson’s new children’s book, S is for Sea Glass: A Beach Alphabet (Sleeping Bear Press, 2014) on Tuesday as well as one of my own beach-themed children’s poems for Poetry Friday.

Since these posts are being written and scheduled this week, I probably won’t be able to respond to any comments next week (I’m on vacation, after all!), but please know I’ll be looking forward to reading any and all that might get posted.

Why can’t I be bothered to respond to comments, you ask? It’s certainly not because I don’t value feedback or the time folks take to share their thoughts. I do!

My reason is fairly simple…

My admonition:

Even if you don’t plan every detail of your week or so off…try to let work go.

Vacation isn’t really vacation if you still feel the need to audition for gigs, answer emails, and carry on business conversations on your cellphone while halfway up the stairwell to the “Eye of the Storm” waterslide. I realize big gigs come along and you’d hate to miss out – but you’re missing  out on your vacation time! And if yo don’t get the gig…what do you have to show?

They call it “R&R” because it stands for rest and relaxation – not ‘replies’ and ‘retweets.”

I prefer the “Triple-Ds.” We all need to de-stress, decompress, and give those old brains of ours a little diversion. I’ll be the first to admit my work is fun, but so is playing in waves and building sand castles with your son while you try to keep the 10-month-old from eating sand. There’s plenty of pleasure in life if you’re able and willing to stop for a minute and indulge in it.

Fortunately for me, my work includes creative writing – which is also an immensely pleasurable pursuit perfect for vacationing along beaches.

If you need me, I’ll be in my office…

York beach

photo courtesy of exploremainetoday.com

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Did you like this post? Find something interesting elsewhere in this blog? I really won’t mind at all if you feel compelled to share it with your friends and followers!

PoetsGarage-badgeTo keep abreast of all my posts, please consider subscribing via the links up there on the right!  (I usually only post twice a week – on Tues. and Fri. – so you won’t be inundated with emails every day)  Also feel free to visit my voiceover website HERE, and you can also follow me via Twitter FacebookPinterest, and SoundCloud!

 

How to disappoint customers in two easy steps

Have you ever had a problem with a product or service, brought it to someone’s attention, and had the issue resolved?

How did you feel afterward? Pleased, satisfied, impressed?

Or did you still feel pangs of disappointment?

If, after the problem had been resolved, you continued to be annoyed or irritated at everything that had transpired, well congratulations…you just learned how not to treat your own customers.

Disappointment: anyone can do it!

agreements,business concepts,collaborations,collages,commerce,communications,concepts,data,exchanges,Fotolia,ideas,information,internet,laptop computers,meetings,networking,technologiesLetting down a customer or client really is so easy, one can do it without even realizing it. After all, it’s simple to be presented with a problem, take the path of least resistance and correct it, and expect the customer to be happy. This is what young folks new to the workforce seem to get taught.

“If a customer is unhappy, say ‘Sorry about that.’ If they’re a pain about it, give them a refund and send them on their way.”

Seriously, that’s what it feels like teens are instructed to do these days, isn’t it?  But fixing problems (ie, keeping your customers happy) is not that simple. Sometimes, fixing a problem is not enough. Sometimes – in fact, oftentimes – you need to fix the problems created by the first problem.

And unless you actually have genuine concern for the person you’re dealing with, you won’t be able to properly deal with a problem and make amends the way they should be made.

What am I talking about?

Example #1:

Last month, I planned a surprise birthday dinner get-together for my wife at a local restaurant. Started decades ago by a few Greek business partners, this place has become a landmark in the area for good food and casual dining. Having been their innumerable times since I was a kid, I knew the menu would have something for everyone’s tastes. I also knew they didn’t take reservations.

If you get there on a Saturday night, chances are you’ll have an hour wait, minimum, so I called about a month beforehand and asked how they handled large dinner parties. “Oh, we can take reservations before 4pm,” the nice lady on the other end told me. I told her how many people there would be and that we’d like tom plan for 3pm, and she said they’d set aside an area large enough for the whole group.

Great!

Imagine my surprise, then, when we didn’t get seated until nearly an hour later.

Apparently, they don’t take reservations – they have something called ‘priority seating,’ so that once a table or area becomes available, it can be used by the party who “reserved” it. Consequently, some of our guests, who had travelled from out of state, had been standing around waiting in the foyer for nearly an hour and a half before we were seated.

When I called a couple of days later to express to the manager my absolute disbelief and disappointment, I was given a refresher course in priority seating and was told that he was very sorry for the confusion. He would definitely make sure the staff know not to refer to priority seating as reservations.

And then we hung up.

* First step: Do nothing!

It’s one thing for a regular employee with little to no training to basically say, “Sorry we ruined your wife’s birthday party – hope you come back again!” It’s another thing for a manager who’s supposed to understand customer service to say that.

I doubt we’ll ever be back, thanks.

Example #2:

tomato pasteA couple of weeks ago, I was making spaghetti sauce using a recipe. (I NEVER use a recipe, but in this case, I needed to – long story).  Anyway, I opened up a can of tomato paste and discovered that half of it was missing! The way it had been poured into the can had left the center completely hollow, so I ended up with only half the tomato paste I needed.

Being a fairly proficient cook, I made the sauce with no issues; however, I did make a point to call the customer service number on the can. You might think missing half of a 69-cent can of tomato paste is irrelevant and not worth your time, but the Yankee in me knew that I had not fully received that for which I had paid. Granted, it wasn’t anyone’s fault, I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t even annoyed…but I did feel I deserved a full can, since that’s what I had paid for.

The customer service rep was polite and friendly, apologized, took my information, and said he would make sure I received something for my trouble.

He was right, too. I received a coupon for a free 69-cent can.

Ironically, that made me more annoyed than I was to begin with! Why?

* Second step: Do something – but only the bare minimum!

Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m not the type who thinks he deserves the moon and stars just because of a tiny issue with a 69-cent can of tomato paste. But why only compensate a customer for the monetary value of the product, when the problem created more issues for the consumer? I had to use up another can of tomato paste, which I  had to find in the pantry, which made me take longer to cook the sauce, and then I had to take the time to call the company and explain the problem…all for them to compensate me 69 cents?

Again, I’m not saying this because I want all kinds of free stuff – but providing a bare minimum of compensation (especially when it’s a mere 69 cents) makes it seem like a company is placating a customer rather than helping them.

Satisfaction vs. Loyalty

Back in 1998, business trainer and author Jeffrey Gitomer wrote a book titled, Customer Satisfaction is Worthless, Customer Loyalty is Priceless (1998, Bard Press).  The title is based on Gitomer’s belief that “satisfaction” is the lowest level of quality a business can provide before heading into negative territory.

And he’s right! If a customer is less-than-satisfied, you have a problem! So why aim for the low rung on the ladder of customer happiness? The thrust of the book is that one shouldn’t aim for mere ‘satisfaction’ – one should do anything and everything possible to ensure that customer remains loyal. Show genuine sincerity and concern…go above and beyond what the customer expects you to do…rectify the problem and make the customer want to tell people what happened!

I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather have a happy customer tell people how I fixed their problem, than have an unhappy customer tell people they’ll never patronize my business again.

Do you want someone providing you bare minimum assistance? Do you want to deal with a company that appears more interested in doing what is ‘expected’ rather than doing what’s right? Do you want to work with someone who expects the empty phrase, “Sorry about that,” to be their go-to response?

Then don’t be that company! If you have a customer who has a problem, look at it from their perspective and don’t just fix the problem. Make them happy.

Make them loyal!

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Did you like this post? Find something interesting elsewhere in this blog? I really won’t mind at all if you feel compelled to share it with your friends and followers!

PoetsGarage-badgeTo keep abreast of all my posts, please consider subscribing via the links up there on the right!  (I usually only post twice a week – on Tues. and Fri. – so you won’t be inundated with emails every day)  Also feel free to visit my voiceover website HERE, and you can also follow me via Twitter FacebookPinterest, and SoundCloud!

 

 

National Poetry Month: How voiceover websites helped me write poetry

NPM-2005-WhiteI’m not usually a big fan of “found poetry.” That is, poetry created by words and lines lifted from other sources – books, magazines, advertisements. I feel like the poet needs to hunt for the message through others’ words, rather than writing the poet’s own message through his/her own words.

However, I’ve learned that the more I attempt to write found poetry, the more I enjoy the hunt!

The other day, I was thinking about what to write for today’s blog post. Since this is National Poetry Month, I knew I wanted to write about poetry (all my posts this month deal with poetry in one form or another) but I wasn’t sure what angle to take. I had been feeling bad about not being able to write as much as I’d like due to my recuperation from ACL surgery – being on crutches, I’m a lot slower at taking care of the kids than I used to be – and I also felt a little guilty for not writing more about voiceover work, as I often do.

Then it occurred to me:  do both!

How to find “found poetry”

I decided I would write a found poem using material I culled from voiceover websites. Now, to those of you who don’t write poetry, that may seem like a rather odd idea. But writers know good material and inspiration can come from anywhere at anytime…and sure enough, it wasn’t long before I realized I might be onto something.

After simply Googling “voiceover,” I started searching through the first couple of pages of results, opening up webpages and copying sections of text I thought could be potentially useful.

I read, I searched, I compiled.

Eventually, I had a list of lines and phrases that seemed to have some common associations, beyond the obvious ‘voiceover’ theme; associations with which all of us as humans might be able to identify.

My definition of good found poetry

I think one of the reasons I don’t often like found poetry is because it only makes sense, or can only be fully appreciated, if the reader knows it’s found poetry. In other words, the lines of a found poem might not be as strong as if they been originally written from the mind of the poet.

With found poetry, the poet is at the mercy of the lines he/she uses – and often I wonder if the found poems I come across would be able to stand on their own merits, had they not been “found.” Maybe this is crazy talk, but in my mind, found poetry should read just as smoothly, as intelligently, and as originally as any other poetry.

Which brings me to my found poem. Is it as smooth, intelligent, or original as something I would have crafted out of thin air? I don’t know – I suppose that’s for you to decide. But I think I was able to capture something beyond a repetition of lines, beyond an amalgam of disparate thoughts, and certainly beyond voiceover.

But like I said….I’ll let you be the judge of that.
.

Voice

Expressing unspoken thoughts
and burning desire,
a voice that is not part of the narrative
pauses for a breath;
the essential commands
and
extreme situations
still seem confusing.
Don’t get discouraged.
Slow down,
evaluate your work,
and take your time
through talent,
steely focus,
and faith
to change the world.

- © 2014, Matt Forrest Esenwine


Not that you need to know this, but just as background information, each line of this poem is a different line from the text of one of the websites I visited:  Wikipedia.com, Voice123.com, Apple.com, Voices.com, Merriam-webster.com, IMDB.com, and webaim.com.

Why not try it yourself? Look through a magazine and pull lines from the articles or advertisements. Scan your library and see if the titles of the books lend themselves to a few poetic lines (some folks refer to this as “book spine poetry’).

Poetry is, after all, all around us – and is waiting to be found!

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2014kidlit_progpoemNational Poetry Month is keeping me extra-busy! Irene Latham’s 2014 Progressive Poem is continuing full-steam ahead…a different poet adds a line to the poem each day, and by the end of April we’ll have a complete poem!

Last week, I added my line and today the poem heads to Tamera at The Writer’s Whimsy. You can follow along by checking in with each of the following contributors:

1 Charles at Poetry Time
2 Joy at Joy Acey
3 Donna at Mainely Write
4 Anastasia at Poet! Poet!
5 Carrie at Story Patch
6 Sheila at Sheila Renfro
7 Pat at Writer on a Horse
8 Matt at Radio, Rhythm & Rhyme
9 Diane at Random Noodling
10 Tabatha at The Opposite of Indifference
11 Linda at Write Time
12 Mary Lee at A Year of Reading
13 Janet at Live Your Poem
14 Deborah at Show–Not Tell
15 Tamera at The Writer’s Whimsy
16 Robyn at Life on the Deckle Edge
17 Margaret at Reflections on the Teche
18 Irene at Live Your Poem
19 Julie at The Drift Record
20 Buffy at Buffy Silverman
21 Renee at No Water River
22 Laura at Author Amok
23 Amy at The Poem Farm
24 Linda at TeacherDance
25 Michelle at Today’s Little Ditty
26 Lisa at Lisa Schroeder Books
27 Kate at Live Your Poem
28 Caroline at Caroline Starr Rose
29 Ruth at There is No Such Thing as a Godforsaken Town
30 Tara at A Teaching Life

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RhyPiBoMo banner

I’m very happy to be part of Angie Karcher’s RhyPiBoMo event this month (Rhyming Picture Book Month). All month, she’s encouraging writers to create rhyming picture books and I’ll be guest blogging on April 26, discussing the benefits of collaboration – so please be sure to join me then!

To see all the posts and learn more, click the calendar below for the daily schedule:
RhyPiBoMo calendar - updated

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30Days52-2014-128ltThe day after I guest-blog at Angie’s, I’ll be interviewing writer and poet Gerald So, the editor of the 5-2: Crime Poetry Weekly. I interviewed Gerald last year as part of my National Poetry Month celebration, and I thought it might be nice to check in with him a year later to see how things have been progressing.

You may not think crime and poetry have much to do with each other…but read a few of the poems that Gerald has published on his site as well as in one of his eBooks, and you just might change your mind.

I’m also honored that Gerald has chosen a poem of mine to publish in May, so I’ll be sure to share that link once it is posted!

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Did you like this post? Find something interesting elsewhere in this blog? I really won’t mind at all if you feel compelled to share it with your friends and followers!

PoetsGarage-badgeTo keep abreast of all my posts, please consider subscribing via the links up there on the right!  (I usually only post twice a week – on Tues. and Fri. – so you won’t be inundated with emails every day)  Also feel free to visit my voiceover website HERE, and you can also follow me via Twitter FacebookPinterest, and SoundCloud!

 

What to do when you lose your balloon

My heart sank as I watched my 4-year-old’s new blue, Mylar balloon fly out of my truck and up, up into the sky.

He had just gotten it at my chiropractor’s office, and after stopping at a local Dunkin Donuts, I had forgotten it was in my pickup when we came out. All it took was me opening the passenger door, and zoom! – the thing took off like a rocket in the wind and shot skyward.

“That’s my balloon, daddy,” the little dude said, eyes fixated on his rapidly disappearing reward for being a good boy.

“I know,” I said, “I’m so sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”

Then, after a short pause, he said, “I’m gonna miss my blue balloon, daddy.”

ID-10055026 (balloons)“I know you will, Bub.”

“That was a nice balloon.”

“Yes, it was nice.”

“Maybe I’ll get another one sometime?”

I smiled. “Yes, you will. I’ll make sure you get another one.” Then I looked at him once he was sitting in his car seat. “You’re a good little dude, you know.”

He returned my smile with one of his own. “Yeah, I am a good little dude.”

Perspective envy

I wish I had the attitude my son had today. Granted, there are a multitude of instances when he can be a frustratingly demanding little man – like most 4-year-old boys – but there are plenty of times when he has such a good grasp on handling adversity that he makes me wonder if we actually share DNA.

I like that he makes me think.

You see, I’m the type of person who needs things to go the way they’re supposed to go. I wouldn’t say I’m a type-A kind of person, but I do take comfort in consistency, in predictability, in the familiar. If I’m planning a trip to the beach, I don’t want it to rain. If I’m preparing for a project, I don’t want the specs to change.

(This is why I dislike winter so much; in the summer, no one ever has to cancel dinner plans because 12 inches of snow is expected, and no one is ever late to work because they can’t drive faster than 20 mph.)

So when I see this little fellow dealing with life the way he does, he makes me wonder why I can’t be more like him (the thoughtful, pleasant ‘him,’ not the screaming, I-want-it-now ‘him’).

ID-10056952 (soccer ball)Making the best of a situation

It’s one thing to say we must learn to smile in the face of adversity – it’s another to actually be able to do it. When I tore my ACL last year, I tried to be positive even though the negative thoughts deluged my brain:

How am I going to take  care of the kids?
How am I going to help my wife?
How am I going to run my voiceover business?

Over the course of several weeks, I learned how to balance these things, and the injury turned out to not be as earth-shattering as I thought it was when it first happened. I still need surgery (March  28 is the date!) and have no idea how I’ll do anything for 2 weeks following (I’ll be on crutches with no weight-bearing), but I figure I’ll get by. I’m trying not to be as anxious as I was the first time around.

Note that I didn’t say I’m not anxious. I’m still anxious as all get-out…but at least I’m trying not to be.

Putting adversity to good use

As I was thinking about my son and his balloon, and wondering how I might tie the incident in with a blog post, I came across a news article about a Subaru dealer that decided to take advantage of a union protest.

Now, whether you are pro-union or not, you have to admit – what they did is ingenious. Did they think they would get more customers in the door by using the protest sign as advertising? Probably not. Did they think it would make a good chuckle and perhaps get people talking? Most definitely.

Did they expect it to end up on Yahoo! and have their dealership name be spread across the entire country? Doubt it…but now look what happened when they tried to make the best out of a situation!

We all lose our balloons sometime

I’ve recorded auditions and then forgot to email them. I’ve submitted auditions I thought I was perfect for and have gotten completely passed over.

I’ve had multiple plans this winter that had to be cancelled due to weather issues, as mentioned earlier.

I’ve dropped a log on my foot shortly before my indoor soccer season was to begin, so I decided to play goalie, only to snap a tendon in my finger, so I end up on the field, only to tear my ACL, and subsequently find out I won’t be able to play again for a year.

All these things annoy me and can ruin my day if I let them – but if I’m paying attention, they don’t always get the better of me.

A few days ago, my wife crashed her car sliding on some ice in the road (did I mention I hate winter?). She was only going 20 mph, but managed to do $3000+ worth of damage. We now have to find $500 for the insurance deductible, we have to pay for a rental car for possibly two weeks, and we also have to shell out money for two new car seats for the kids, since they can no longer use the ones that were in the accident.

But at least my wife suffered no injuries and is alive and well. At least the kids weren’t in the car at the time. At least we had more family time this weekend because my wife was out of work.

I may lose lots of balloons – literally and figuratively. It’s knowing how to let them go and hold onto what’s important that really matters.

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Did you like this post? Find something interesting elsewhere in this blog? I really won’t mind at all if you feel compelled to share it with your friends and followers!

PoetsGarage-badgeTo keep abreast of all my posts, please consider subscribing via the links up there on the right!  (I usually only post twice a week – on Tues. and Fri. – so you won’t be inundated with emails every day)  Also feel free to visit my voiceover website HERE, and you can also follow me via Twitter FacebookPinterest, and SoundCloud!

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