Way back at the beginning of the month, Jane Yolen visited the blog of my friend and fellow poet/blogger Michelle H. Barnes, Today’s Little Ditty to discuss her writing, her inspiration, and a poetic form she created called the septercet.
A septercet is a poem consisting of any number of 3-line stanzas (or tercets, as we call them), each with 7 syllables (hence, the “sept” in septercet). Michelle’s blog readers were challenged to write their own septercets, and they met the challenge head-on…submitting FIFTY different poems in one month!
Now, just because each line is seven syllables doesn’t mean a nice rhythm cannot be achieved. And just because it doesn’t need to rhyme doesn’t mean I was going to let the opportunity for an even harder challenge slip by! Here’s what I came up with:
Home
Give me room to be your friend;
give me space to stretch and run,
a place to sleep, time to mend.
Yes, I owe so much to you.
I am not ungrateful, no –
though I’m tired, and starving, too.
My whole world has been a cage,
cold and cramped. I should not ask
for anything, at my age,
nor should I expect concern,
love, or care – yet, here I am,
a new home, rules, words to learn.
Neither knows how this will end,
but I am loyal. Trust me, please.
Give me time; I’ll be your friend.
– © 2016, Matt Forrest Esenwine, all rights reserved
Aside from the rhyme and rhythm I wanted to create, I tried hard to steer clear of “filler” words, like “the,” “just,” “quite,” and any other words that might be accused of padding the syllable count or aiding the rhythm. Granted, sometimes those words are absolutely necessary – but often, they serve no purpose in moving a narrative forward or developing a scene, which is why it is one of the first pieces of writing advice I share with budding poets. (Haiku, in particular, requires extreme word economy and has no room for any word that does not contribute to the power of the imagery)
In the mood for more poetry? Karen Edmisten is hosting Poetry Friday today! And again, be sure to check out all the septercets at Michelle’s blog HERE.
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Love it, Matt – and am getting more and more determined to make time for a septercet.
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They’re fun, and challenging…you need to try one!
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I thought it was a great challenge too. Love your sweet dog poem and the sweet dog in your photo. How great that you foster the dogs until the find a forever home.
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Thanks, Liz! It’s sometimes very, very hard to not want to keep them!
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My daughter & family recently adopted a two year old cattle dog from a rescue group, their third. I’ll share this with them Matt, sweet voice, and poignant, too.
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Thank you so much, Linda!
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You really play on the emotions here.
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Thanks, Brenda…I tried to make it touching without being too sing-songy or sentimental, so I was hoping it worked.
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It had a nice rhythm without being sing-songy.
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This is such a beautiful poem, Matt. You did an amazing job, as always, with the septercet challenge! Before I even saw the photo of Mishka, that’s exactly who I was picturing in my imagination.
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Thanks, Michelle – it was a fun challenge! Keep up the good work.
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Love your poem and glad Mishka found a home. Wonderful emotional resonance in your words.
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Thank you, Jama, I’m glad you liked it! As for Mishka, we were sad to see her go, because we would’ve snatched her up as one of our own in a heartbeat!
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Bravo, Matt. You have excelled in creating a sense of humility, hope and devotion. Gripping!
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Wow, that’s so nice of you to say, Karen, thank you!
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Wow, Matt, you surpassed the challenge by imposing additional challenges. It is such an evocative poem. Off to work more on the gallery.
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Thanks, Carol! I wish you the best on that gallery – I know how much work is involved in putting them together! You did get mine, which I sent a couple weeks ago, yes?
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Wonderful. So much emotion captured in your words.
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Thank you, Jane! I’m glad to hear it resonated with you.
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Wonderful, Matt. You accomplished a lot as you met the rules of the septercet and the challenges you gave yourself. And your poem doesn’t feel like you’re following rules…it has heart 🙂
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Thank you, Penny, I appreciate that – I was hoping it would!
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Not just a great septercet, but an important message, too!
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Thank you, Mary Lee!
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Of course, I pictured a cat! >^ ^<
I agree with you about the unnecessary words. I call them "junk words." Two others to look for are "so" and "very." I'm ambivalent about "the." I sometimes agonize over whether I should use "the" as in "the cat" or "a" as in "a cat."
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Well, it COULD be a cat – I am a cat person, after all. 😉
Sometimes a ‘the’ or ‘a’ is necessary, I recognize that…I just try to dispense with them if & when I can. And it’s one of those simple things a budding poet can learn to help practice word economy.
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I usually put in WAY too many “and”s and “the”s in a first writing. Then I make myself go back and imagine taking them out. If they don’t NEED to be there, I trash them. Sometimes they stay when I can’t get the rhythm right without them, but usually it means there needs to be a different word in there somewhere to strike the balance. I have never been disappointed taking a junk word out, only in leaving one in!
Sweet poem, sweet dog!
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Thanks, Donna. That’s a smart way of writing, you have!
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