As Howard Beale stated in the 1976 movie, Network, “I mad, and I can’t take it anymore!”
Ok, well, “mad” might be overstating things, but “annoyed” certainly fits, as does “frustrated.”
What am I talking about? The plethora of online baking “experts” who share their recipes for cutout cookies – and use eggs in the batter.
The reason this annoys me is because the number one complaint most people have when making cutout cookies is that they often expand and “blow up” so much the shapes are barely recognizable. You know why this happens?
Because there are eggs in the batter!
Eggs are a leavening agent, folks – as in, they make things RISE. If you want a nice, flat shape to your cutouts, why add something to your recipe that’s going to make them plump and rise? And yet, every recipe I come across from these baking bloggers uses eggs.
Not only that, but they take 5000 words just to get to the recipe – after they explain what the cookie is, why they like it so much, why it’s so much better than all the other recipes, how they love all the fond memories of their great-grandmother using the recipe, and all the definitions, variations, and explanations needed for a reader to follow the recipe. WHEW. Just get to the recipe, people!
So, if you want to do something right, you do it yourself. If it’s going to take a children’s lit author/blogger on Poetry Friday to set these online bakers straight, so be it.
And I’ll do it without waxing nostalgic about my memories of helping mom in the kitchen, baking cookies while listening to Christmas carols on the old turntable console. I’m just going to give you the basics and let you take it from there.
You see, this all started because my daughter wanted to make stained glass cookies – you know, the ones you add crushed candies to, to make them look like glass? Well, you can’t have a puffy cutout cookie, so I created my own cutout recipe and it works swimmingly. (see Exhibit A!)
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Matt’s Maple-Vanilla Cut Out Cookies
1 stick butter, softened
½ cup granulated sugar
¼ cup maple syrup (or light corn syrup)
1 t. vanilla extract
½ t. baking soda
2 T. milk or water
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 T. corn starch
In a large bowl, cream the butter, sugar, syrup, vanilla, and baking soda until blended. Stir together the flour and corn starch in a separate bowl. On low speed, add the liquid to the creamed mixture and mix well, then add the flour and corn starch, just until blended – do not overmix! Chill at least 30 minutes, or even a couple days in advance.
When ready to bake, heat oven to 350 F. Roll out dough on lightly floured surface to 1/8-inch, cut into shapes, and place 1-inch apart on ungreased (or parchment-covered) cookie sheet. Sprinkle with sugar. Bake 8-9 minutes or until slightly browned, firm and set. Let rest a few minutes, then transfer to rack to cool.
Optional: If you’re making stained glass cookies, use foil that has been sprayed with baking spray. Bake for 7 minutes, remove from the oven, sprinkle crushed Jolly Ranchers or Life Savers into the open spaces, and then bake for another 2 minutes or until the candy has melted. The trick to good stained glass cookies is to not overcook the cookie or the melted candy (which will caramelize), and to only use enough candy to spread out and fill the open spaces. Too much candy makes for an unenjoyably hard cookie.
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Well, there you go! I hope you like it. If you try them, please let me know what you think!
For today’s poem, I’m doing something I’ve never done before – sharing a poem I did not write, which I cannot attribute. I came across by accident the other day and thought it was cute, the kind that can be easily memorized by a child and recited. But I have no idea who wrote it!
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I made you some cookies.
They really were yummy.
They were so delicious,
they ended up in my tummy.
I would have made some more
but I ran out of eggs and butter.
So I’m doing the next best thing:
sending you this cookie cutter.
– unknown
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If you happen to know its creator, please let me know! In the meantime, I hope you’ll visit my friend Jone Rush MacCulloch‘s little home on the web for today’s complete Poetry Friday roundup, where she’s celebrating the solstice with an original poem and some beautiful photos.
~~ SCHOOL VISITS still available! ~~
I’m booking author visits for the 2023-24 school year and still have a few dates available. If you think your school might be interested in having me visit, check out all the presentations I offer, then email me at Matt (at) MattForrest (dot) com!
I love chatting with elementary and middle school classes about writing: why poetry is fun to read and write, the importance of revision, and how imagination and creativity can lead to fantastic careers! My presentations are tailored to fit the needs of the classes and students’ ages. One day I might be sharing details of how a picture book like Flashlight Night (Astra Young Readers, 2017) was created; the next, I’ll be discussing dinosaur breath or crafting origami sea turtles!
Student presentations include:
- The Making of a Picture Book
- How a Child Saved a Book
- “Once Upon Another Time”
- The Most Imporant Thing about Writing Poetry
- “I Am Today”
- “A Beginner’s Guide to Being Human”
- “Everybody Counts: Counting to 10 in Twelve Languages”
- The Making of a Picture Book
- The Most Important Thing about Writing Poetry
- Free Yourself with Free Verse
- Tight Language, Loose Narratives: Crafting a Non-Traditional Picture Book
Learn more at MattForrest.com!
If you or someone you know might be interested in having me visit your school, library, or other organization, please email me
at matt(at)mattforrest(dot)com!
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Order a PERSONALLY-SIGNED copy of this or or ANY of my books
from my local independent bookstore!
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Ordering personalized signed copies online? Oh, yes, you can!
You can purchase personally-signed copies of Flashlight Night, (Astra Young Readers, 2017), Don’t Ask a Dinosaur (Pow! Kids Books, 2018), and nearly EVERY book or anthology I’ve been part of!
Click here to view all my books and to order!
Just click the cover of whichever book you want and send a comment to the good folks at MainStreet BookEnds in Warner, NH requesting my signature and to whom I should make it out. (alternatively, you can log onto my website and do the same thing) They’ll contact me, I’ll stop by and sign it, and then they’ll ship it! (Plus, you’ll be supporting your local bookseller – and won’t that make you feel good?)
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Thank you to everyone for your support!
FLASHLIGHT NIGHT:
- NY Public Library’s “100 Best Book for Kids 2017” AND “Staff Pick!”
- KIRKUS Starred review!
- Kansas NEA Reading Circle Recommended Books!
- “Best Reads of 2017,” Unleashing Readers
- Finalist, 2019 New Hampshire Literary Awards
- Positive reviews from Horn Book, School Library Connection, School Library Connection, Booklist, Publisher’s Weekly, and Shelf-Awareness!
DON’T ASK A DINOSAUR:
- “Rollicking rhyme!” – Booklist
- “A wild romp!” – Parenting NH Magazine
- “Cute…intriguing…4 out of 5 stars” – Tulsa Book Review
- “Rhythmic…funny and informative” – Unleashing Readers
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Last Friday, 
Radio, Rhythm & Rhyme 